God has been driving the bus all along. Our steering wheels are of the Fisher-Price variety.

Living a spiritual life isn’t easy for it requires daily death. Actually, moment by moment death. But this life is about impermanence and Christ said His kingdom was not of this world. So we are caught between a rock and a hard place. We want to be transcendent but we can’t. There is an X-factor that we are somehow constantly missing.

Take me. I woke up before daylight and lay there for a while. Then I got up and had some oatmeal and went back to bed. After all it’s a cold January morning and well, brrrrr. So as I lay there, my thoughts turned to Bob, his side of the bed still empty. But I talked softly to the empty space and I cried a bit. But this was a soft, accepting kind of grief. Once that was out of the way, then I could return to inner stillness.

I feel that a new chapter is beginning in my life, one that requires turning away from Facebook and its constant need for feedback. All of the Likes and Comments are wonderful, but they are coming from the human level. We must be always reaching for the higher.

Back to the X-factor. It is, of course, awareness. Awareness makes the world go round, for awareness is love. When our heads spin, it is because we are trying to drive the world around with our giant steering wheel of ego. Larry Gatlin said that, not me.

So just for today, I’m gonna take the bus….

This is such a weird feeling. I have been away from my blog for so long. For one reason, I need one that works better. But it is rather nice to get away from the roaring crowd of Facebook. It does a beautiful job of getting my message out, but that doesn’t mean it is the end-all and the be-all for writers like me.

You see, I write as led by the spirit. I am just the proverbial reed pipe. I have no idea why I decided to write another post this late in the day. I did just watch American Idol and I think that Harry Connick, Jr. is terrific. He is bright and funny and kind. Also has quite an ear.

My ear is for words. I live in the world of linearity where I have never quite fit. I am not such a good driver, map reader or measurement taker. But oh, my goodness, I know words and how to use them. Many times that has gotten me in trouble. My late husband suffered from my many verbal one-two punches. Now when I write about how much I still love him, hearts melt. For they know I speak the truth.

Here is a late-night message for all of you. Be kind to yourself for one day you will not be here in this body. If you are kind to yourself while on earth, just think of the joy you will find in heaven. And, by the way, you will be blessing others with your self-love. Your cup runneth over.

Goodnight, Gracie….

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
(Sign on a Coca Cola machine)

I slept well last night. Today is the sixth day of fasting for me. For the most part, I am abstaining from Facebook, chocolate and coffee. What I find is that my energy is purer and quieter. I don’t know how long this will last; I am taking it one day at a time.

It is good to shake things up from time to time and January is always when more people look closely at their lives. “What is stealing energy from me?” “What truly supports me?” “What will cause new shoots of growth in me?’

I have had two dreams lately that were interesting. In one, I was looking into a mirror and saw brown stuff on my face. At first I thought it might be from a baked potato skin, but on closer inspection, it was leaves and I stripped them off my face.

Then a few nights later, I was at a woman’s house and she told us we could pick spinach from the tree in her front yard. So I went out and begin stripping long narrow leaves off the tree. But I needed to go back into the house and ask her for a bag because I had no container.

So perhaps vitality is an issue.

I hope to write a bit differently here than I do on Facebook. For one thing, I am typing directly into the blog post without putting it into a file on my Mac. Once I post it here, then I will copy it onto my hard drive.

That leads to an interesting question. What is worth saving?….I’ll “leave” you with that….

Love,
Vicki

Today was Tai Chi Tuesday. There were nine of us in class. I sat and ate a salad before our session started. It was good to be back; I had missed 3 classes in a row due to the holidays and frigid weather. Truth to tell, I am just not a holiday lover.

I had a very big dream last night. When I woke up, I was hard-pressed to remember the details but it seemed to be about everything being predestined. I was revisiting a place I had been to the year before and I knew what happened would be exactly the same as it had been a year ago. In other words, it was like the movie, Groundhog Day.

The man of the house said, “Even animals meditate.” And we looked at some living art on the wall. I told the daughter that I still felt sorrow and she embraced me while I wept. But the feeling of the dream was of a joyful homecoming already lived out and therefore, being re-experienced. That makes no sense, but nothing important does!

I am stringing together the threads of visions that different people have seen for me over a period of years. Seemingly, all I have to do is follow the breadcrumbs….

I will leave a few for you to find your way back here……

Love,
Vicki

Everything has already happened. It is a matter of remembering this.

Yeah, I know. I haven’t been active on my blog for quite a while. Something to do with Facebook making it so easy. But recently I felt the urge to take a FB break simply to have more time in the silence. FB is a multi-tasking tool that splinters energy. I was ready to pick some of mine up and use it to come to the still point. I am basically an energy healer. All my words do is redirect people to their own stillness. How this works I do not know but I can hazard a few guesses.

l. I have been on the path for most of my life and will never leave. It is the only game in town for some of us.

2. I have had my life stripped down to its core twice and each time the losses were severe.

3. During these periods of loss and recovery I focused intently on coming to the still point. Joel Goldsmith was a great model for me in that sense. He said that the best thing to do is to surrender the idea that you can do!

4. Still point healing happens when you are able to sit in the silence and simply breathe. This became very easy for me to do.

If you would like for me to hold you in silence, I am happy to do so because nothing is required. You can hold yourself there as well.

I will try to post here more. I have some really good news about my book being published in a few months.

I am on a safari of silence,
Only me and the wide open savanna
of grace.

If I spot animals I shall say nothing
but their enlivening presence will
shelter me like a tent.

The night sky will open up
and pour down grace notes
raw and unrefined.

Sometimes the heart growls to
protects its own
and I am a member of the Earth Tribe.

I bow low to listen to the ground speak,
rumbling its love song of eruption,
destruction and new beginnings.

Animals and humans both come to the
watering hole— for without that,
earth would speak no more.

Tree is Thee.
Eye with roots
and seedlings
blown by the wind
into new growth.

Thou art eye that
sees into the trees
and knows the breeze
whereby spirit
bursts into blossom.

Vicki Woodyard