God has a sense of humor….


God has a sense of humor. When I decided to leave Facebook, He saw to it that my Blog Subscription on WordPress would go on the blink.

So I am writing to a handful of people that have nothing better to do than read my yammering.

By the way, I learned something valuable when Theo was working on me. He didn’t tell me to do this for myself, but I am. What is that? I can hear you getting all excited. Well, maybe you shouldn’t.

I just lie down and place my hands on my body and breathe. I find that immensely comforting.

It’s not rocket science, is it?

I got news for ya, baby. There ain’t no cure for love! Yeah, Leonard Cohen said that so that makes it true. He is dead but I keep right on loving him. Heck, I even love him more, now that he has gone. The same thing happened with my husband. The things he used to do that drove me crazy? Now I wish he was here doing them.

We people are all crazy. All the spiritual words in the world can’t change that.

So when all else fails, and you can’t subscribe to my blog (Yet, she said hopefully), just lie down, put your hands on your tummy and breathe.

And after that, have some tea and cookies. You can’t be too good to yourself, can ya?

Vicki Woodyard

We Wear Ourselves Out….


We wear ourselves out; no one has to do this for us. Take a look inside the thought factory and see if the imps are not working overtime to keep you dazed and confused. Their finest work is done in the Laboratory of Comparisons. They whisper or yell at you that no matter how hard you work, someone is better than you are at what you do. And you believe it.

The mirror can only reflect things back to you and believe it or not, we can learn to just mirror our thoughts back to ourselves. The Christ Consciousness is “recognition without reaction.” All the ego can do is react helplessly to the war of words within.

That is why you can give it the silent treatment. When you catch your thoughts rushing headlong into a spiral of self-hate, yell an inner “Stop!” And then watch what happens. The thoughts have nowhere to go, so they dissolve in front of your eyes.

Yeah, every day is a battle between good and evil and it takes place in your own crazy head. There is nothing romantic about the spiritual path. You are crawling on your belly through a war zone hoping not to get smashed to smithereens. Some of us know what combat fatigue feels like.

When my husband was ill, I lived with it for years. These days I cherish having nothing to do but write. Oh, I wish I was popular, but Vernon told us long ago that truth is for the few. The masses want to be lied to and flattered. That is what the ego laps up as fast as it can. But the more it drinks, the more bloated it becomes.

Read this and know you are not alone. There are a few of us crazies that want to become sane. And that starts with being humble enough to know how bad off you are. We are all painfully protected by our egos that think that “one day we will become immune to the inner war.” We can become immune, but only when we leave the battlefield mind set.

Leaving Facebook has been a battle for me. I feel somewhat shell-shocked and as if I don’t know what I am doing. Well, guess what? That is better than thinking you know more than you really do.

“When you know that you don’t know, then you know!”~ Vernon Howard, American mystic that taught the Work of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky (esoteric Christianity)

Vicki Woodyard

Nourishing Your Essence


Dear Friends,

Today was an average day. I got gas and groceries, came home and ate lunch. Now I am ready to rock and roll! By that, I mean to do what floats my boat. Writing scratches an itch with me, so the more I write, the more I am operating from my essence.

Consider what floats your boat and do more of that. My list is small. I like to live my life consciously, so my wants and needs are simple.

Lately I am being urged to increase my satisfaction in living within. I ask myself questions all the time. “What makes you happy? What keeps you from happiness? Why does the ego never feel satisfied for long?”

These questions are our soul’s work in this world. Never mind looking for answers outside of yourself.

Tomorrow a neighbor is burying his wife; she died of ovarian cancer at the age of 52. A strikingly beautiful person, both inside and out. I know how her husband feels. How he is being crushed under the weight of the fatigue that deep grief causes. I never forget that. So I make it a point to honor my body/mind. I have asked so much of it for so long that I owe it that.

We are simply not responsible for other people. We are responsible only to God. And that is an impossible situation, since He is everywhere and in everyone. How do we carry out this responsibility? We realize we are only responsible to the God within. We can let everything else go.

What does letting go of the load feel like when you are being crushed under its weight? I have no easy answer for that. In such situations, you drop everything but the vitally necessary. You rest as much as you can. You don’t take calls. You conserve, conserve, conserve. And out of that conservation, your essence will find nourishment.

We are all in this together, but we are responsible only for ourselves. How can I say that? Because this is “the jewel-mirrored samadhi.” Look it up. Try it on for size. I may write more about it later. In the meantime, let the word ‘no’ roll around on your tongue. It is ‘yes’ to your essence. Never forget that.

Vicki Woodyard

Please let me know.

Dear Readers,

Please let me know if you signed up for my blog and did not receive an email confirmation. If you did not, I need to figure out what is wrong on my WordPress site.

I count on people signing up, since I have left Facebook. I want to connect with readers who value what I do and are willing to let me know. Otherwise, I am just wasting my time. And if I am not wasting my time, let me know that, too.

Thanks and love,
Vicki

Some Key Questions


It is surprising to me that I wrote faithfully on Facebook for a long period of time and got no real support when I chose to leave it. Few people followed me on my blog and I am grateful to them. I have no plans to return to Facebook or to the nonduality discussion forums that proliferate. I am now hiding in plain sight and the few will find me.

I am learning to ask myself a very key question and you would do well to begin doing the same thing. Where is my joy hiding?

It is not hiding on Facebook.
It is not hiding in another person’s face.
It is not hiding in nature.
It is not hiding in animals.
It is not hiding in anything outside of the Self that I am.

Where is my freedom hiding?
It is not hiding in making other people happy or secure.
It is not hiding in making myself happy or secure.
It is not hiding in anything outside of the Self that I am.

Where is my security hiding?
It is not hiding in making other people feel safe.
It is not hiding in making other people feel loved.
It is not hiding in making other people feel accepted.
It is not hiding in anything outside of the Self that I am.

I am strong.
I am loved.
I am the Self.

Vicki Woodyard

This is not….

This is not high school.
This is not America’s Got Talent
This is not sibling rivalry.
This is not Sunday school.
This is not mud wrestling.
This is not anything you can win or lose.

This is not me.
This is not you.
This is not purgatory.
This is not a new wrinkle.
This is not a cure for cancer.

This is not doable.
This is not durable.
This is not polyester.
This is not Uncle Fester.

This is not Krishnamurti.
This is not Nisargadatta.
This is not Einstein.
So what’s the matta?

This is what it is.
It’s not what it isn’t.
This is what I came for
To accept what is present.

This is not funny.
This is not tragic.
This is not real.
This is not magic.
This is not loving.
This is not hating.
This is not talking
Or even debating.

Sit down for a minute
And feel yourself being.
This is the answer; this is
What’s freeing.

Vicki Woodyard

Your Lack of Progress


June 20, 17

There is no reason to be discouraged over your lack of progress. If you could go faster, you would! There is a hidden virtue in slowness. Impatience tries to break the speed limit and that is never a good thing. Being first in this world is being last in the higher world and vice versa. As Aesop wrote, “Slow and steady wins the race.”

Be grateful for the sins that linger because they are still opening your eyes to how much work you have to do. You grow impatient to remove all obstacles to your inner growth when only God can do that.

God is everything and ego is nothing. In between, the haunting fears of your childhood still terrify you. What can you do to ban the boogeyman?

The answer is that God does everything. Can you not call on Him when the shit is hitting the fan? And it always is. Yes, we have a sense of humor and you would do well to remember that.

Success in this world is tainted with failure to make soul progress. Which do you prefer?

Outside of Space and Time


In this world of opposites we dwell in the space/time continuum. It is in this world that we break down and cry for what we lose daily. Our sorrows happen over and over again. It is Groundhog Day 365 times a year. Who doesn’t feel like they are losing their sanity or their grip on reality?

Having studied truth for most of my life, I now realize that I have never been inside the space/time continuum. Not at all. Let that sink in. I live above it, watching it endlessly unspool. It looks and feels boring and scary at the same time. We love and hate, we live and die. We wonder why.

But someone is watching all of this mayhem and is in a state of pure essence. This is what the scriptures are about. This is what the wise men and women tell us. They speak of peace, which clearly cannot be found in this earth. If you think it can, you are not in your pure witness state of being.

When someone figures this out, they are free to come and go at will. They are no longer imprisoned in the flesh and blood character that they play. That is why meeting Theo Paredes changed my life. He said nothing I had not heard before. It is not what someone says to you in the space/time continuum; it is who they are in their essence. That is why you can read positive, uplifting messages all day long and never feel one whit better. They are mechanical in nature, at best. They are cranked out all day long by various and sundry websites. They are from Groundhog Day.

Wake up and see the staleness of your state. Bring in some fresh air. How? By witnessing the space/time continuum as the illusion that it is. The watcher is not a part of it.

Vicki Woodyard

Real Rescue


Wait on Rescue

The morning of youth has its advantages. We don’t know the score as yet, so we go along with what our parents tell us about life. We think of death as having something to do with heaven, but we are too busy playing in the dirt to consider it.

The afternoon is busy with school and thoughts of the future. We think if we work hard that things will work out.

The evening is a bit different. Night is coming and we are fully aware of it. Some of us turned within around 4 o’clock in the afternoon of our lives. Perhaps an early death or a shock or one kind or another touched us to the core. Now in the evening we begin to shiver and tremble. Death is now a fact of life.

We saw the teachings everywhere. The fall leaves, the sudden deaths that seemed to come too soon, the people that took their own lives. What was going to come next?

Handling life had now become a joke, for life was mauling us day by day. I was lucky enough to find Vernon Howard. His job was to yank the rug out from under us and that was his only job. He was merciless in teaching that there is only one mercy and it comes from within.

He died in 1992 at the age of 74, at the age I happen to be right now. He was an old man. Does that mean I, too, am old? I guess so, but I have eternal youth in this old body, thanks to him. I know the soul was never born and can never die. That means only one thing. Life is a gift from higher forces. It was given in order that we should grow.

Few people grow to any considerable degree. You have to accept this as fact. If you don’t, you will continue to suffer from ignorance of spiritual law.

The Christ-consciousness is not something to play with. It is who we are. It demands that we die daily. Of course, we can’t. We must allow Him to do it for us, in whatever way He chooses. This is not fundamentalism but esoteric Christianity. Most turn away from it. Even the disciples did. But you are not alone, nor were they.

Sit with yourself on a daily basis, letting the fear run your ship into the ground. Wait on rescue, for it will come. Maybe at the last moment, but it will come. “They that wait on God shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall run and not be weary. They shall walk and not faint.”

Vicki Woodyard

The Self and Its Deep Compassion


We are slow to realize the greatest truths because they are well-hidden in the grave clothes of ego. It is not until the ego begins to draw its last breath that we understand the compassion of the Self in all beings.

It is voiceless and choiceless and in those two words its power lies. After all, don’t we spend our lives explaining and defending ourselves to others? If you haven’t seen this, there is no point in reading further.

There comes a time when the unwinding of those linen strips reveals a being that astounds us. It asks for nothing, never complains and is always, always on our side. It would not condemn us or betray us. It is the inner Christ we have been keeping under wraps for an entire lifetime.

But time is nothing to the pure love it holds for us and space is useless in the name of love. It carries only self-forgiveness and self-mercy and we have squelched it in favor of being liked by the world.

Once you see the darkness that the ego uses to keep the Self hidden, it is not long until you try and get rid of it. But love cannot destroy. It can only wait until self-insight reveals the next step to you. And what is the next step but letting it shine? Not without but within. The without receives the gift as it was intended to receive it. Like the sun that shines on all beings. All is well with your soul. Always.

Vicki. Woodyard