I woke up this morning remembering that I have to start the eyedrops today since I am having cataract surgery on Wednesday. I worry about getting the drops in correctly, but such is life. I have already read the Sunday paper and will get my hair cut this morning. I love being able to have it done on Sunday. I can go to the deli next door and have a bite to eat and bring something home to Rob. He will be in charge of me during my recuperation, which I hear isn’t long at all.

Having time to spare before leaving, I sit in my meditation chair quietly. I think of how things were almost 40 years ago when we lived on Montego Bay Drive. I was slender with dark hair. Now I am roughly the same size but now my hair is silver.

In 2018 it will have been 40 years since we lived there and my little girl died. Such a devastating period of my life, one that would have deep consequences for all of us. Now it seems like a dream, as my grandmother said it would. (She had lost 2 boys at the age of 2. Not twins, in different years.) I remember her singing mournful songs as she rocked me to sleep. Now I understand why her voice had such a sad quality.)

I have given my interests over to truth, but I would have done that even if my child had lived. I find nothing as interesting. Love grows out of truth; that is the right order of things. Without truth, love can be harmful to people in surprising ways.

I hope you will resonate with the things that I write. I have fallen from grace so many times, but there is never a time when grace will let you down. Gratitude for grace eases so many things in life that would otherwise continue to sting.

Our essence never changes. Who you are born to be is who you will always be. The personality, if you are lucky, will soften with age and wisdom. At least that is what I hope for.

Time to get out into the world. See ya later.

Vicki Woodyard