I woke up this morning realizing I had revisited the dream of the night before. In that dream I was very anxious over being in a play. Last night I was in the backseat of a car driven by the director of the play. I was worrying about the huge amount of fear I had about playing even a bit part. I asked him if I could read the lines the first time I said them in rehearsal and he said that was okay. The dream went on until I woke up. I am reflecting on it and realize I have other choices. I can leave the dream! It is not working out for me; it never has.

Pieces of the puzzle are falling into place. I am not a dreamed character but reality itself. This is what is meant by Tao, surrender, grace, dying before you die. Sure, I have read about this, but have I ever had the strength and wisdom to begin living a surrendered life?

Ironically, I never left the surrendered state. I just think I did. God loves a good paradox, because that is how the life of the mind is structured. He has heaped paradox upon paradox, but He has also heaped paradise upon paradise. There is a catch; there is always a catch. You just have to die to how you think your life should be.

Beneath the ego lies paradise, found only in the death of time and space. Love arises as you sink deeply into grace. You may revisit the dream but you can always remember it is only a dream. Row, row, row, your boat….

Vicki Woodyard