Digging Deep

I have been digging deep for many years now. Remember when you were a child you thought if you dug deep enough, you could dig all the way to China? Of course that never happened, did it? But some of us must dig deep into our consciousness in search of light.

Some of you carry incredible burdens, even though Christ says “My burden is easy and my yoke is light.” We wonder what that means when we are sweating blood and nursing a broken heart. We truly yearn to die to ourselves, to turn the load over to Him, but how?

That “how” isn’t answered; it can’t be. Why? Because we are asking from the mental level, and that does no good at all. The mind is a machine designed to work as such. And machines cannot surrender.

So how does surrender happen? How do we access a deeper level than the mind? That is what we wrestle with. And we lose every time. I speak from personal experience. My good intentions, my deep desires, are not enough to lift the burden I insist on carrying.

So why do I continue to write? I do not have a personal answer to this. It just seems the dharmic thing for me to do. If I don’t write, I am not as fulfilled. So I keep on keeping on. At times one of you will say I helped you, that I mirrored your condition for you.

If you keep the question of how to surrender alive, eventually something will yield. Keep at it like a Japanese koan. How does surrender happen? How do I get myself out of the way?

For the true way is the Christ Consciousness. “I am the way, the truth and the life.” And that is found within your own heart.

I know this is a thorny issue. How can it be otherwise? For the opposites must be brought together, meeting in a river of light. When that happens, your burden floats away from you, carried, not by you, but by the great mystery of surrender. Your “how” floats away with it.

You can do nothing about your own life. That is the divine design, in place long before you were. Trust it. Cherish it. Question it. Rebel against it. God doesn’t care. He only wants one thing from you. The one thing you do not have to give. Figure out what it is and rejoice.

Vicki Woodyard


  1. I have been reading about your experiences with Vernon Howard and how the death of my mother and many other instances in the last year that have me searching. I understand some things that Vernon speaks of that is the dying of me and it is not easy. I have some time to read and to listen to Vernon, I know deep down he speaks the truth. His life seem to be at peace with himself and his mission seem to be to explaining what he had discover within himself. Thanks for writing!


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