A friend just responded to my request for donations to my blog. She probably does not know this, but she is a jewel in the lotus! The two of us hit it off right away because of what we had in common: the loss of a child. Her loss is much more recent than mine, though, so I hope my writings have given her a ray of hope. Because until you have buried a child, you have no idea what it takes to go on living.
This friend is also going through a husband’s cancer and caring for a daughter disabled in a car accident. And she has other stresses as well. What I learned from being a caregiver is how woefully unable I was to care for myself, much less anyone else. So I wrote about the melt-downs I underwent with regularity.
And where was God in all of this anyway? I suspect He is with us every step of the way. As I wrote recently, if you go through hell consciously, you exit in heaven. And sure enough, that is totally true. For heaven is anytime you are in hell consciously. “If I make my bed in sheol, Thou art there.”
These days I am undergoing a gentle transformation into a much more positive outlook on life. I have finally located where the buried treasure can be found. Of course, I read of the location in book after book after book. Listened in talk after talk after talk. And now the penny has dropped. The rubies, as some mystic said, are in my own bundle.
And so I write to encourage others to go through their hells as consciously as they can and to be grateful when they receive higher help. This help is always coming down to us whether we know it or not.
My blog won’t die, I don’t think. But it helps if people can chip in from time to time. Maybe I don’t need to pay for website maintenance that day. Maybe I just want to take myself out to lunch. I am learning that if I don’t do that, I will not grow nearly as fast. As my friend Phil said to me once, “Learn to drink while you pour.” I love that.
Much love to my friend and to you all,