The Only Way Home

We have all known dark days. No matter how much others speak or write of light, on those days you simply feel no connection to anything but misery. And guess what? We are all in the same boat. No one in a human body has experienced permanent bliss, so don’t be fooled by the proclamations.

Sometimes your life has been wadded up into a ball and flung into the fire. You find yourself choiceless and afraid. Yet you doggedly press on. There must be light somewhere; you just can’t find it.

There is no hiding place either. You are being illuminated by megawatts of humiliation and failure. Everyone is looking at you. The pores of your humanhood are huge and the red carpet finds you lacking in every respect.

And you remember the words of Jesus. “My kingdom is not of this word.” And yet he had his dark days just like you did. They jabbed him in the side and jeered at him. So he must understand how you feel.

What is the human solution to human woe? There is none. There is none. There is only the admission that you can’t win ‘em all. Lose and you win. But losing is so hard to do. The winner in you never gives up. So an outer situation comes along and kayos you. Once you are down for the count, stay there. At least that is what my teacher said. Stay as scared as you need to be. Feel as unloved as you feel you are.

This morning I type words onto a screen that point to a solution out of my own hands. That is my only hope. My only way home. I hope I take it.

Vicki Woodyard


  1. “illuminated by megawatts of humiliation and failure.” feeling the same… Gotta walk backwards… To defeat the negative spin (at times)…


    1. The true way is impossible; I think we agree on that. The way out can only be higher awareness, which you know all about. It is impossible because we die so many deaths and keep springing back to life. The final surrender cannot be made by us. I have despaired of attaining anything on the mental level. It’s not about that. It seems to be about waiting for something not us to take us on the last step of the way. We can be good company for each other as we lurch along.


  2. Maybe not so cataclysmic but it happened. My comment is to you Vicki knowing what I said is not for the masses I grok your despair maybe a man maybe not like you I have given up which is despair also Love


Comments welcomed....