We have all known dark days. No matter how much others speak or write of light, on those days you simply feel no connection to anything but misery. And guess what? We are all in the same boat. No one in a human body has experienced permanent bliss, so don’t be fooled by the proclamations.
Sometimes your life has been wadded up into a ball and flung into the fire. You find yourself choiceless and afraid. Yet you doggedly press on. There must be light somewhere; you just can’t find it.
There is no hiding place either. You are being illuminated by megawatts of humiliation and failure. Everyone is looking at you. The pores of your humanhood are huge and the red carpet finds you lacking in every respect.
And you remember the words of Jesus. “My kingdom is not of this word.” And yet he had his dark days just like you did. They jabbed him in the side and jeered at him. So he must understand how you feel.
What is the human solution to human woe? There is none. There is none. There is only the admission that you can’t win ‘em all. Lose and you win. But losing is so hard to do. The winner in you never gives up. So an outer situation comes along and kayos you. Once you are down for the count, stay there. At least that is what my teacher said. Stay as scared as you need to be. Feel as unloved as you feel you are.
This morning I type words onto a screen that point to a solution out of my own hands. That is my only hope. My only way home. I hope I take it.