My book, A Guru in the Guest Room, didn’t do much business. Even so, Hilary Starke reminds me from time to time what a great little book it is. And it occurred to me that Swami Z represents my heart in the book and the character of Vicki represents my mind. Because the mind and the heart are always at war and that is how Swami and Vicki lived together. His book didn’t sell so I killed him off. As an author, I can do that. (I really know how to get the last word in with him, since I created him.)
So I will write this as if it were a dialog between him and me. I shall dig him up from the dead for a minute or two.
“Vicki,” said Swami, “I watch you thinking like crazy all the time. Do you realize that thoughts drain your energy? It’s like if you had a hundred dollars in your purse and you spent the whole shebang on a pair of fancy shoes.”
I looked down at his shabby little slippers and snickered, but he was dead serious and I emphasize dead.
“If I quit thinking, I don’t have anything to do,” I whined. “Besides, thinking just happens. I can’t stop it.”
Swami had an idea. I knew he did because I just typed that “Swami had an idea. Now I have to think up what it was. Gimme a minute….go get a glass of water or something.
Time passes….
Okay, are you back? Here is what I came up with to have him say. Are you ready?
“No, you can’t stop thought because you can’t stop yourself. They are the same thing. Your fancy little ego is woven into your thoughts. He winced at the very idea. So did I? Was he gonna perform a “mentalectomy” right here in the sunroom?
“Don’t try to stop thinking and don’t try to stop yourself. Just try and remember that every time you think, you are draining your bank account. You might want to save a little for your retirement.”
That is how stupid the old geezer is. And yet I had to admit he was right. I couldn’t stop myself or my thoughts. The brakes were out.
Suddenly Swami shot straight up in his chair. “I just remembered,” he yelled, “I am not supposed to be alive. You killed me!”
And then I had to kill him again. Sorta like Kenny on South Park.
Vicki Woodyard
Quite comical that Swami Z…
Yeah, I can’t think of him as dea…either, giggle. One day his time will come.
Swami Z is an awesome character and….I really can’t think of that dear Swami Z as ….. dea…… nope, can’t even type the word. Swami Z continues to make me laugh, lives in my mind, brings joy to my heart and right there is where he shall remain alive in his shabby chic slippers and his awesome plaid robe holding out a plate of freshly baked cookies to those he loves. Dear, dear Swami Z.
No, no, no say it isn’t so! Swami Z lives on in my heart forever. I remember when he just put in a rare visit with your emails to a little group of Farkles. And he deserved a book! What I see as the bigger picture is that there is far too little humor on the “enlightenment” scene. People take all that and themselves soon seriously. I hope his day will come when people lighten up a little more.
I’ll drink a toast to that with milk and cookies!