Moving Day

The last day of June and my next-door neighbors are moving. I always get quite weepy when people move. There is a large yellow van parked in front of their house, just waiting to begin loading the furniture.

I thought about moving myself, but discovered that something in me was more resistant to the thought that I had imagined. It began with me getting rid of some things, thinking that would be the first stages in moving. But as I cleaned out clutter, I started to feel quite anxious about it. Since I had no location clearly in mind, I decided to stay put for a while longer.

This is the journey of the soul. To be or not to be, to do or not to do. And the whole time, we are being swept across the sky, as an old native American prophecy goes. No free will; we just think there is.

Last night brought bad dreams about my late husband. The family was young and he had left me, not died. And so there was arguing about a lot of things and I woke up in the night overwrought. I felt that to be abandoned would be worse than his death. The subconscious can be nasty business.

So I got up, had a bowl of cereal and tea and went back to bed. This time I had left our young children alone and gone to visit my mother. I couldn’t remember my phone number to let them know I would be home soon. And I had left them alone. Wow. Two bad dreams in a row.

This is what leaving Facebook does. Shows you how dependent one can be on a program designed to put people in touch with one another. I come and go from there and will probably return when the time is right. But right now I am looking at the state of mind I am in when I have more time not so plugged in.

The desire to write never goes away; it is my landmark, my place of comfort and security. Perhaps I will take a look at beginning the next book. Who knows? And if you are reading here, bookmark it, so you can find your way back. I don’t have a yellow moving van, but I am here instead of there, for now. Who knows where I will be tomorrow?


  1. Hi Vicki. Just want you to know I’ve been reading (most of) your notes… What I’ve read resonates deeply. Thank you for sharing! Much love. Your Facebook friend, Michele. 🙂


    1. Thank you so much, Michele. I try to hit the sweet spot of what I am thinking and feeling. If I am lucky, I strike something universal.


  2. Please don’t leave facebook, Vicki. I have deactivated my account so many times only to open a new one or reactivate. Friends like you are golden. I love your posts and rely on them sometimes to bring me back to whats important. I have dreams like you and often people in my dreams are not the same but my repeated dream with variations is about cleaning and renovating. Usually my house is falling down and in an awful unsafe condition. Of course there are many interpretations. They are great teachers as well showing us where we cling and resist change in order to survive.


  3. As long as my heart feels happy and settled in the structure around me, I am home—isn’t there a saying along those lines….your home is where your heart is? Wherever you reside-here or there, may you always find peace, happiness and love. <3


      1. I totally understand the off/on again pull of FB. I can go days without signing into FB, days I spend a few minutes just to delete notifications, then there are those days when I find myself spending too much time trying to catch up on what I think I might have missed, finally – days when I want to deactivate the account so I have one less thing that keeps me away from doing things I know I should be doing. Ha! I’ll keep my account active … since I’m currently homebound, it is a window into the outside world. Love & hugs.


        1. I think it is good to come and go from it, so we can see more clearly how dependent on it we have become. I feel that it takes several days before you begin to see how much more time you have when you are not constantly on the danged thing.


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