I woke up this morning, having had a dream about Jeanne, my best friend from junior high. I lay in bed and cried, tears running into rivulets. I don’t know what is going on exactly, but I am powerless against it. I skipped Tai Chi today, just not having the get-up-and-go necessary.
When I reached for something under my bathroom sink, I realized that I have a small leak. So I plopped down on the floor, taking out everything I store in the cabinet underneath.
Yesterday our power went out unexpectedly. It was out over 3 hours but luckily it was in the afternoon. This is a problem they patch but don’t ever fix, so about every 3 months or so, we lose power again.
This is turning into a note about power. I smile at the obvious symbolism at work. I cry when I must, remove the items under the sink and try to muster up the courage to call the power company to register a complaint. One of our neighbors is on oxygen but they seem to give that no priority.
What is spiritual about these first 4 paragraphs? Everything and nothing. “Sufficient unto the day are the evils thereof.” In the Work of the Fourth Way, that means we use everything. We try not to be negative or to express negative emotions.
You are as God made you, but you must cut yourself and everyone else some slack. When your emotional vitality is low, it is wonderful to let go and let God. Rest in His Arms. Lean back into His Presence.
The leak will be repaired. The power company can be dealt with another day. Today is for you. Your dream of Jeanne was simply an emptying out of your emotional suppression. You needed to release your grief while your guard was down. So you dreamt of her.
And then you said the Jesus prayer over and over until you felt peace descend. We are with you always. Be kind to yourself. Conserve your vital force. Let us watch over you.