Dear Santa Claus,

I just want one thing for Christmas this year. I want Vicki Woodyard to get some stinkin’ faith in herself! She is moping around here like you wouldn’t believe. She doesn’t believe in herself. I wish you could have seen her before I moved in with her. She was like a shadow floating around this old empty house. She was looking out the window and I moved in through the front door. Oh, it was tricky getting her to begin writing me. I’ll give you that. I had to wait until she was actually at the keyboard before I could begin slipping the words into her hands. And then she had to move them over the keyboard while I hovered overhead. I had to make her look ridiculous while she was making me look like a cute little ass.

Every day I would bustle around her kitchen (her heart) and make use of it. I didn’t know what else to do but play like I was interested in baking. Through the years she began to draw me as a beloved character, little guessing that I was the Self come to revive her droopy, dopey little self. I have had to put up with Larry just to have the pleasure of introducing Ruin. (That will all be made clear when MY book comes out.) Ruin is the true guru, btw. No one is more surprised than I am about that. But what can you do?

Santa, I know you have a lot of toys to deliver for the good little girls and boys (LOL), but I know a woman that needs some trust in her own ability to make people laugh and cry at the same time. I can’t let her get too near the cookies because of that because it’s messy, but whatevs….

The kitchen smells nice and spicy and the gingerbread men are running like they have cast aside their crutches at Lourdes. I just need for Vicki to believe, not in you, but in herself. She’s actually a decent sort. She DID create me and now like Pinocchio, I am turning into a real live guru. Maybe I should be writing a letter to The Blue Fairy. Ya think?

Love and respect,
Swami Z

P. S. Make a donation by clicking the Donate Button to the upper right of this post. It’s orange. She needs something in her website stocking! Ho ho ho. Be Vicki’s angel this Christmas….help her keep the site up and running.