Donation Drive

Dear Readers,

This is Summer Donation Drive Time. If you read here regularly or even occasionally, there are a few things I need to get out on the table. I write for free, because it is my calling. However, there are expenses involved with maintaining a website and in publishing my two books.

There is a way that you can help! Make a donation by hitting the PayPal button or emailing me if you prefer to write a check.

Buy either or both of my books. I prefer that you order A Guru in the Guest Room here. It is also available on amazon in paperback or Kindle.

My first book, Life With A Hole In It is available on amazon as well.

I love you all for being here, but I also need your financial support to keep the site alive and  “alove.” If you are moved by what I have to say, please let me know by donating a small amount.

Thank you so much,

Vicki

*One donation so far. Who can make it two?

 

 

Give Me Back!

Writing has been my Get Out of Jail card. It has given me back to essence. This world was designed to take me prisoner. It has done a really good job. I look like someone designed by Adaptable, Inc. I am socially meek and outwardly conforming.  I sally forth into the world bedecked in things that will help me fit in. Of course, this is esoteric wisdom. Don’t rock the boat. Don’t kick a sleeping tiger. Pick your battles and all that.

But in my soul the fire of creativity rages, burning away the subterfuges created by a sin-filled world. That fig leaf had Adam and Eve in thrall. Nudity of the soul is a glorious thing to behold. There are no pockets to hold your “stash” of false concepts. No way to get high on unreality. Just the truth, ma’am. Just the truth.

As I live out Act III, as Leonard Cohen calls it, I am getting freer and freer from my ego. Oh, it lays traps for me all right, but I get out of them quicker and quicker. It wants me to “fit in, adapt, be a good girl.” And I am telling it to go screw itself. It doesn’t like that so much.

You see, rocking the boat throws you directly into the water and you either swim or drown. If you swim, you have a chance of making it to shore. And if you drown, at least you are free of social encumbrages. Is there a reason that encumbrage sounds like taking umbrage? I like to think so. The only thing I want to take is a trip to freedom. Ironically, it’s a round trip, nonstop nonrefundable ticket. It’s the only ticket to ride!

 

This Imperfect World

Dear Friends

My writing arises like steam from healing waters. I dip in and words arise. Some of you must know how I am feeling right now. Like you feel when a change is needed but know you can’t accomplish it. The Secret is a bunch of hooey, in my opinion. The soul is much deeper and richer than the people who thought that one up, although it made a profit for them.

My soul was born to write and it will say what it wants to say. Those of us who are serious about the path get cracked open repeatedly. I am in one of those places now. The road suddenly throws you for a loop and you cannot possibly know what comes next.

I will be writing as I am led to write. Those of you who follow me will follow me. “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” That is found somewhere in the Bible, probably in the Book of Job.

Nonduality is becoming rife with overly intellectual people who are obsessed with perfection. No one is allowed to be honest about their daily lives; all they do is preach unity while being amazingly indifferent to suffering. Suffering is fierce grace, as Ram Dass says and knows. I know that, too.

Here is a quote from Leonard Cohen, shared by Tim Goulding:

“We live in a world that is not perfectible, a world that always presents you with a sense of something undone, something missing, something hurting, and something irritating. From that minor sense of discomfort to torture and poverty and murder, we live in that kind of universe. The wound that does not heal—this human predicament is a predicament that does not perfect itself. But there is the consolation of no exit, the consolation that this is what you’re stuck with. Rather than the consolation of healing the wound, of finding the right kind of medical attention or the right kind of religion, there is a certain wisdom of no exit: this is our human predicament and the only consolation is embracing it. It is our situation, and the only consolation is the full embrace of that reality.”

~Leonard Cohen

Nothingness

Swami and I sat together on the porch swing. The June night was lit with a lovely moon. Ah, I had learned how to sigh big deep explosions of  release. Swami encouraged that. Tonight he looked magnificently powerful. He had one arm across the top of the swing and the other holding to the chain. The swing made a nice creaky sound as it carried us gently to and fro.

A cardinal lit on a bough in front of us. He seemed to be indicating an incoming message, looking at me intently. I looked at Swami, who spoke these words. “Vicki, there is something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

“What?” I asked suspiciously.

“Oh, it’s something good. I know I give you a hard time, but I want you to wake before you die,” he said. “If not, you’ll just have to make a return trip, with no guarantees I’ll be here for you next time around.”

The swing continued to carry us back and forth inside the illusion.

“I waited a long time for you,” he said, as if he were admitting to a deeply-held secret.

“You did,” I said with wonderment and curiosity.

“Oh, yes, out of thousands of people I have met, you are the one I was waiting for. You were the only one capable of accepting nothing. Most people hold out for something, but not you.”

Was he pulling my leg? I honestly didn’t know.

“Look at it this way,” he said. “I moved into your house for a reason.”

True enough. I knew he always had purpose in what he did. So I said slowly, “You  moved in because I was capable of receiving nothing rather than something. Have I gotten it yet?’

“You have not only gotten it, but you are passing it along.”

I had to admit the truth. “I am not sure I am a Certified Teacher of Nothing, like you are,” I said.

He looked at me long and hard. Put both feet on the ground to stop the swing, then stood up. He reached over and put his arm gently around my shoulder. “Vicki,” he said, you know nothing better than anyone I have ever seen. And you have me to thank for that.”

I gave him a kiss on the cheek and then gave him a raspberry. That was familiar ground.

Vulnerability

Someone was writing about vulnerability. You know— that place you live? Consciously or unconsciously, you dwell within the nothingness of love. For once love has become something, it can be taken from you (and will be.)

My daughter entered the nothingness in 1978 and I have not heard from her again. I used to picture her coming back and living with me again. I would stroke her hair and rock her to sleep. Absence makes me vulnerable.

We feel vulnerable any time we love.

White space is the source of all I write.

Everything else is noise.

My husband entered the fullness of nothingness in 2004. The tsunami of that loss swept my old life away. Vulnerable again.

I still picture him coming back through the door, moving his clothes back into the closet. But he hasn’t showed up yet.

We feel vulnerable any time we love.

As Bob was dying, I learned to write and write and write to fill up the white space of his absence.

Swami  Z popped in suddenly and filled the white space with purple and orange and green.

He is still here because there is no place he can go.

Unless I write him out of the picture. But who would want to do that?

Swami knows how much vulnerability it takes to write a book about an invisible guru. He is very proud of me for that.

Rapt in Light

Behind bars of negativity

The pure soul awaits release.

Biding its time until the

escape into the now can be made.

 

The now is off-limits to darkness;

Why else would the pure soul wait?

Light does not contend with darkness,

but is content to see it clearly.

 

Vision comes to those who wait

wrapped in silence,

They who wait in patience shall be

rapt with light.

Vicki Woodyard

 

 

Life With A Hole In It

Life With A Hole In It was featured on Victor Zammit’s Friday Afterlife Report today. He reaches many, many people and I am grateful to him for the exposure. People who are grieving the loss of a loved one are seeking solace and peace. I try to give that in my book, written some ten years after going through my  husband’s fatal cancer. May he be at peace. May we all be at peace in the midst of our griefs and losses. One day at a time is sometimes too much to ask. Then we must let go of our own rope so that we can grasp the rope of The Work, which is esoteric Christianity.

I have been going through a rocky time myself lately and I appreciate any little ray of hope that I can get. Just to let in a moment of awareness is to heal the universal consciousness in that moment. A little counts for a lot. And love is infiltrating and healing the strongest of fears and losses.

To say the words of the Kwan Yin vow is powerful medicine for the soul. Try it.

“I vow to relieve the suffering of all sentient beings.”

The vow is the how.

*You may order Life With A Hole In It here.

What Would Happen If I Died To Myself?

 What Would Happen If I Died To Myself?

This is a question that does not yield up its answer easily. If you say it does, I wouldn’t trust you.

The question has to follow you around like a phantom for decades, resonating deeply at times and at other times barely registering.

“As for me, I die daily.” So said St. Paul, but I am not even one part of Peter, Paul and Mary. I don’t die daily easily.

Sometimes I forget myself; that happens to us all. But then I reconstitute myself like frozen orange juice. And it’s off to the life races again.

You know, the life races…where everyone is just trying to stay alive while not expecting much. Just trying to to hold their own. Sometimes it takes great courage to even do that.

Back to the question. What would happen if I died to myself? I can tell you what wouldn’t happen. I wouldn’t start preaching from a soapbox about it. I wouldn’t write a best seller about it. I wouldn’t become the new Oprah. I wouldn’t buy a new wardrobe for my newly dead self.

So what WOULD happen? The ones who have managed to pull it off are nowhere to be found. Silence has swallowed them up.

Now the silence is saying, “Try it; you might like it.” And that’s as far as this essay goes.

A Change Is Comin’….

When I am not fulfilling my calling I am miserable. And most of the time I am not fulfilling it. You are the same way. I am called to write and keep my energy field positively charged.  When I do this, I serve my highest function as a gatekeeper to higher worlds.

Just to open up a blank page is to invite myself back on the road to my calling. The highway unfurls in front of me like there was no tomorrow, no yesterday, only now.

I am off on the adventure of writing with purpose. To do this, I must ditch my rational mind, so soon I turn off the interstate onto a surface road that will lead me smack into the mystery. Who am I and where am I going off course?

Of course I am off course! This is the hypnotized state of all humanity. The cries of the Christed Ones are going unheard. We are too busy maxing out our charge cards to stop and listen.

Some of you are riding in the car with me. You are responding to what I am typing.  These days we are waking up faster than usual. We are being cued to say our lines faster, without so much premeditation. “Snap to it, git-r-done.”

Once we get to where we are going, things will change in a big way. It will be like a Saturday night barn dance. We will be changing partners and do-si-do-ing with higher energies brought to bear on our bodies. The title, “No Mind, I am the Self” comes to mind. But whose mind? It is becoming trendy to say “Who am I” without following through to the ultimate answer. Don’t ask me what it is. I don’t know.

“I don’t know” is a perfectly good mantra. I don’t know why I wrote this Note but I don’t need to find out, as it will unfold on its own. Like a life raft that dramatically inflates, it will suddenly rise up and carry me down a new river of life.

They used to talk about white stones and new names. I think that just means a change is comin’…and it’s all good.

Monday, Monday

I am going to handle my posts in a different manner for a bit. As some of you know by now, I left my old site and transferred over to bluehost.com. I still have the WordPress software.

I have been highly active on Facebook, writing almost 1000 Notes over a period of several years. When A Guru in the Guest Room came out, I had hoped that my Facebook Friends would support it and be eager to buy it. A few people have, but for the most part, Facebook has not helped me to market my writing at all.

Now why would a spiritual writer be concerned with marketing? Ask Eckhart Tolle! Of course, he is a bit hard to communicate with, having such massive hits on his hands. I hope I am making the point that all writers have to make some money on their books to cover publication costs. He just happened to write a world-changing book.

But Swami Z can rock your world as well! If you are reading this blog, just know that I am a bit discouraged about the lack of orders I have received. Not nearly enough to offset my costs to have the book edited and published.

Here is your chance to support my website, including this blog, and to encourage my writing other books. Writers and teachers need people who believe in them and in what they are doing. I am here at the Mac 7 days a week offering new material all the time.

There are 3 ways you can help. You can order Life With A Hole In It, A Guru in the Guest Room (or both!).

You can also make a small donation to this website. With a $5 minimum donation I will mail you a pdf of either book.

Love to all,

Vicki