Because I was in the darkest night I had to find the brightest light. My story is in my book, LIFE WITH A HOLE IN IT. It’s been almost a year since it came out and it has found its way into individual hearts one book at a time. Word of mouth helps sell it; I am not a natural publicist and have no money alloted to hire one. Instead I write daily on Facebook and often here on the website.

I live an ordinary life steeped in awareness. I keep it simple and useful to me. Never mind saving the world. As Vernon Howard said, “You’ve tried that!” The Self is ever present and it is rooted in the real. I hope you find my words meaningful and nourishing.

If you are experiencing sadness or grief, just gently notice it and that you are unable to stop it. Let the tears flow; you will feel better. Be grateful that you have known love and one day we shall all know that we are Love itself.

Gentle Readers,

I am in the process of finishing my second book, A GURU IN THE GUEST ROOM. I am a small writer and not a business person, as most of you know. Nevertheless, I have to pay for the website and for book publications costs. I end up losing money!

If anyone values the website and can see their way clear to donating a few dollars to help defray publication costs, I would appreciate it. Every little bit helps. I will continue to be here as I have for the last ten plus years. Bob would want it that way.

You can hit the Paypal Donate button on this site or if you prefer, send a check to me. Just let me know how you can help. Perhaps you can spread the word once A GURU IN THE GUEST ROOM comes out.

Love and thanks,
Vicki

My book is something that gives me great satisfaction. Born out of suffering and sorrow, it
slowly evolves into a peaceful acceptance. That doesn’t mean I am rid of suffering, for I am only human. But as I write, I visit the memories with a higher and finer energy. That is what being a writer on the path does for one. It clarifies and sorts out the wheat from the chaff. It elevates first the writer and then, hopefully, the reader.

Last night I was gifted with a wonderful dream. I had moved into a smaller but shabbier house. There was a wise woman ensconced in the kitchen who was writing a book. I didn’t much like her being there, but before she left, she gave me the book. It was handwritten on pink paper and looked just like a small book I wrote years ago.

Two young women were in the house as well. They called out to me that there had been a miracle. Bob had taken some medicine and died and his body was on the floor in the living room. But his spirit body was lying outside, where he had been seen playing the cello. (In real life, Bob had a tin ear.) I am not sure what the dream means, but I can venture a guess.

My writing comes from the place in me that is familiar with the deep tones of the cello. I write to honor the place in us which is ever-beautiful and strong. To do that, I must also honor the breaking of the ego’s shell, which is never easy.

So Bob is in a better place and I move back and forth between the world of the opposites. I am quite sure he sometimes stands beside me as I write. He did this sometimes in life. My desk is our old dining table littered with computers and the miscellany that writing entails. He used to hit his head on the chandelier that hung above the table. Once when he was showing me how to use the fax machine, I asked him jokingly when I should hit my head on the chandelier. “Anytime you get ready,” was his answer. Ready when you are, Mr. DeMille.

Life is, after all, about acting. We act for others, to keep them from knowing how wounded we are, or how scared we are of the dark. My writing begins in darkness, trailing the light along my fingers until something breaks open and I go, “ah”….

LIFE WITH A HOLE IN IT may be ordered by clicking on the book cover in the right hand column.

I am a point of contact with infinity as infinity. This is something that the world deftly avoids. Being in the world but not of it is a living truth. Playing the game of illusion comes with the package called body, mind and spirit. The triune game is on. Awakening is simply seeing through the glass of the game clearly.

Someone who has lost a child just read LIFE WITH A HOLE IN IT: That’s How The Light Gets In. Many of you have read it. Although it is a small book, it is powerful. It is confessional in nature and reveals the travail of my soul as my husband died. And our little daughter had preceded him in death when she was seven. I do not take life lightly and yet I am also a humorist.

Laughter winds through the trail of tears in the book. My mother used to say that we all have our grace notes in life and one of mine has been laughter. Others have been a loving husband and the desire to awaken from the dream of separation. It has been almost seven years since he died and I have an increasing sense that he is always with me. Love cannot be anything but everlasting.

I know every word in LIFE WITH A HOLE IN IT and I know how the light gets in. We are all the same; struggling to overcome a sense of separateness and not being able to control ourselves as we would like. We project that onto the world and try to control it. Alienation sets in as we try to part the waters of the ocean of the all. The path is about seeing this. To see is to be free.

I am so grateful to each person who buys a copy and finds that it is a confessional for them as well. For who is not afraid of losing a loved one and having to go on alone? Who does not fail many tests as they struggle to let their light shine? Who is not in need of self-honesty?

I have said this before, but I get a real sense that the child inside of me has always been the strongest part. My job now is to surround her with peace and light. As she surrenders to the healing process, my soul gains the ascendancy. I hope you felt that the book ended with grace and hope, for the journey was a universal one indeed. A primer for those who have yet to face the death of a loved one. Or the loss of illusion. It is, as some wise one said, “a gift to those who can take it.”

It can be ordered at amazon.com or I will sign and mail you a copy from my home. It is difficult to get the word out about a book of this nature. Those of you who have read it, keep spreading the word. And if you haven’t ordered your copy yet, please know that I am grateful if you do. The link to purchase it is to the right!

“I don’t do anything but I do it well.” ~Vicki Woodyard

I posted the above comment on my Facebook page last night. Tony Cartledge said, “You are the Queen of No-do-ality.”

I do what I don’t do well, you might say.

Nonduality is a word that defies true description, as Jerry Katz will tell you. Concepts of nondoership are discussed by advaitans and others. Many teachers confirm us in our nonexistence. But I am The Queen of Non-do-ality!

I am a being that witnesses doing through the clean pane of awareness. That way, pain becomes the clear pane through which the Self can see.

I love wordplay, love to horse around with Ruin, the stick pony, and his ridiculous rider, Larry. They will soon appear in book form. If you listen to anyone but Ruin, they might steer you wrong. Sometimes Larry steers Ruin into a stream of traffic and then it is I wince.

I don’t do; therefore I am not what I think I am. Descartes is turning over in his grave.

Nondoership is on no cruise line. It is an empty boat on a shoreless ocean.

I write about my personal life, which is nothing special. It vanishes into the night with the sunset and rises when the body does. I don’t do anything, not even windows. But everything happens in the only way it can, including this essay.

Photo by Holly Lynn Danyliw

I saw this photo taken by Holly Danyliw today and it took my breath away. The language of light, of the numinous. For we are both new and old at the same time. We are shedding light wherever we go. If we could grasp this as easily as the hand grasps the baby’s foot, we would be set free. We would soar.

Wisdom cradles innocence; it has ever been thus. Innocence informs the spirit like nothing else can. I have a book of Zen wisdom that says, “If I put a foot wrong, the universe screams.” That is how interconnected we all are.

Thich Nhat Hanh says,

You are me, and I am you. 
Isn’t it obvious that we “inter-are”?

All of us are baby buddhas and wise sages at the same time. A picture is worth a thousand words and in this case, the words lead to an enlightening silence. Ah….

When I asked Holly’s permission to use this photograph, she said:

“This is an intensely emotionally picture for me because the hand is of my dear friend who was dying from cancer when I took the picture. It was my attempt to keep her physical body a clear memory for her daughters and all who loved her. Please mention that the photo is of my dear friend Donna and her grandson, Benicio.” I looked up the meaning of the name and it means “benevolent one.” How appropriate!

I am honored to share both the photograph and the story. Thank you, Holly. This picture IS worth a thousand words.

Dear Readers,

I have enjoyed this summer so much. I was interviewed by Trip Overholt on Conversations With Avant-Garde Sages in June. John Troy, aka the Wizard, is the author of Wisdom’s Soft Whisper, and he and trip really do the show together. It is growing in popularity because the two of them are actually in conversation with the guests, rather than doing an all-out interview. It lends intimacy and immediacy. Trip bones up on each guest and doesn’t avoid asking the hard questions. You don’t mind because his energy is great and if he doesn’t ask them, someone else will. That’s what makes a good interviewer. In case you haven’t listened, there is a direct link to my interview on this very website. Check it out!

I am passionate about my book, so I was glad to get a chance to be heard on the radio. I am hard at work on my second book. The title is A GURU IN THE GUEST ROOM. It will be out sometime this fall. It’s in the hands of my editor now. Once he finishes it, I will then go back and reread it and work with him until I feel it’s ready to publish. I have sent it out to several people for review so their blurbs will be on the cover. That part is fun.

As I said before, I invite you to join me on Facebook. I post new material there every day. It is quicker than using the blog and I can reach more people that way, so Friend me and let the fun begin!

I have not received any donations since my new site went up. If you are a fan of my work and can afford it, drop a few dollars in the bucket through my Paypal link. It helps pay for the website costs.

I am happy to receive comments, so don’t be shy about leaving one after you read this. Writers need feedback! And tell your friends about LIFE WITH A HOLE IN IT.

I want to tell you guys a beautiful story. This morning I had an appointment with my dermatologist to get a few “thingies” removed. His assistant said I could thank my grandmother, since they were hereditary. I looked her right in the eye and said, “FU, grandmother!” She looked shocked, not knowing if I was kidding or not. I told her I was.

Then the doctor comes in. He had a major intestinal blockage that required emergency surgery and had been off for five weeks. We chatted about that and soon I was making him laugh. I told him what I had told his assistant about my grandmother (whom I loved, btw).

I told him about my book and turns out he has an idea for a book. He asked about how to get published and I told him I was using booklocker.com and was working on my second book. He wants a copy of LIFE WITH A HOLE IN IT. I told him what it was about and he got tears in his eyes. I said I would send him a copy.

“How did you escape the medical arrogance?” I asked him frankly. “I don’t know,” he said, “I’ve just never been an arrogant kind of guy.” I told him that I had no family in town besides my son. I said, “If he’s out of town, I have no backup.” He said, “You’ve got me.”

I don’t know this guy personally. I just know he has been my dermatologist for years and I have always liked him. For him to say that was huge because he meant it. He was saying, in so many words, “Call if you need any backup. I’m here and I mean it.”

He mentioned going to Auschwitz because he had relatives who were there. He also gave me the name of a family physician that is unusually kind, someone he refers people to and knows personally.

This man made my day. He wants my book and he offered his sweet spirit to me. He has a busy practice, but he clearly enjoyed our conversation and when we walked me up the checkout desk, a group of his employees were gathered around the desk.

“I want you guys to meet this woman,” he said. She’s written for Joan Rivers, Phyllis Diller, Jay Leno, Jeff Foxworthy. So I left there with a happy heart and a book sale. Most importantly, there are people in this world who have such big hearts they will offer their friendship to strangers they feel needs a loving connection. I drove home on air and with a few less “thingies.”

“Facebook connections are made on a higher plane than the mundane, in my opinion. They are essentially who we are if given free rein, free of the body/mind and it’s blah, blah, blah. Just my two cents.” Vicki Woodyard

I wrote those words in response to a Facebook friend who said, “I have friends here in facebook that I connect with more than “real” friends.”

Since I am a writer, I count on readers! Everything is connected and without readers, I would have no one to share my life with as the One. I am online every day all day. What if I had to travel to meet each one of you? If I had to book a motel and rent a car to say hello? It wouldn’t work.

It is easy to look back and remember the days of the old black telephone that had its own niche in the wall and there were party lines. Then came the Princess phone and colored phones. When I was a teenager, we had four extensions in our house and the kitchen phone was yellow and mine was white. White! I loved it. And my brother and I would have brutal fights about getting off the phone so the other one could use it.

And then came the cell phone. I resisted buying one for years and now have one for emergencies. Along came Caller I.D. and as Seinfeld says in a comedy bit, when the phone rings, everyone backs away from it! In the old days of innocence, one ran to the phone to see who could answer it first.

Then came Skype and people can see each other. Boy, do I resist that idea. I am much more comfortable being unseen. But Facebook is something that really, really calls to me. I use it more than my blog. I can see blogging become as obsolete as the old rotary phone. Why? Because on Facebook everyone is connected.

I love writing a fresh essay and throwing it out onto the dewy lawn of Facebook. My friends go out in their robes and pick it up, knowing I will start their day off in a good way. ( I hope).

As for reality, logically it was over last week. There are no more ladies wearing hats and drinking teas. No more men in their own clubs smoking stogies. We are all bathing in the Ganges of Facebook. How cool is that?