Do you ever feel like this?

Do you ever feel like this?

Do you ever wake up too warm in the middle of the night and realize you had been having a bad dream? And that the dream was both ridiculous and uninterpretable. It made you aware of having a very primitive self in you that sees things differently than you awake and walking about.

I lay there for a while and then got up and had some cereal. I finally went back to sleep only to fall into another weirdo dream.

I always sit in silence after breakfast and this morning I loved that the sun was coming in brightly. We drove around yesterday looking at some old townhouses and it made me nervous. I am not sure I have it in me to move. I feel so settled in this house and yet I grumble about its upkeep.

I understand deeply that things just happen and that I am not in control, yet I am always thinking I have control. Do you ever feel like this?

It makes me anxious, to say the least. To imagine myself taking on a burden I don’t have to take on. Maybe a move would prove disastrous.

I have small things to do today. It is the kind of day I like best. It is the first part of the day that ushers in my night-time fears and early morning anxiety.

Being on the spiritual path is no cake walk. I work on myself every day and yet see little progress. Do you ever feel like that?

Vicki Woodyard


  1. I have ridiculous dreams too. Sometimes I don’t even know how to describe them they are so off the charts. When I wake up I don’t know myself. I also think I am in control most of the time; but i understand i am not… it’s just so scary. I try to stay light about it all, I try to find humor and beauty where it is. Oh, by the way, I just finished “The Structure of Delight”. Thanks for mentioning it and thanks for this post.


    1. We live in a culture that doesn’t discuss dreams. Mine are so real I get scared they will come true. Takes me a while to shake them off. Yes, try to find humor and beauty where it is. I find it most often in the everyday. I am glad you found “The Structure of Delight.” It is an amazing read.


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