Tonight I was watching a YouTube video of Craig Ferguson’s wake for his father on his TV show a few years back. It was very moving; I think you would enjoy it.
Some things were said that found deep resonance with me. “Feelings are very important.” Yes, they sure are. Today would have been my 52 wedding anniversary. The tears are alive inside my heart. Rob and I seldom talk about Bob, yet our feelings of loss are quite real.
For Rob, his dad was the voice of reason, not emotional at all. Bob was a big man, six four and almost 200 pounds. He did not drink or smoke when he was younger. As an executive, he had to learn how to drink wine at business dinners; I remember that. He also had to learn how to play golf.
Bob never did anything halfway. His dentist reprimanded him for brushing his teeth so hard he was wearing the enamel away. When he built furniture, he built it to last.
It was hard to watch him wither away over a period of years from his multiple myeloma. His dad had died of it, too. At the end, he depended on transfusions to stay alive. Dammit, it still hurts. The heart knows its feelings are what give it life. Not stoic acceptance or suppressed denial, but the sure knowledge that if we own our feelings, we can breathe easier and endure life better.
Craig ended the show by drumming with a Scottish group called The Wicked Tinkers. It was quite moving. And I just want to say that as I sit here, I feel here and share here what I know the best—my own heart.
Here’s a cup of auld lang syne to the man I shared my life and heart with.
And a link to Craig drumming with The Wicked Tinkers. Enjoy!
Vicki Woodyard
I have to make a little talk at a funeral tomorrow for a dear friend. The pain of his sudden pasing has left me without anything much to say, until I read your post. Thank you so much for sharing your heart the video too.
And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere!
and gie’s a hand o’ thine!
And we’ll tak’ a right gude-willie waught,
for auld lang syne.
You should read what you shared with me (the poem) at the service tomorrow. I adore Craig Ferguson.
and now The Wicked Tinkers. Craig can drum like the divil hisself 🙂
Wicked drummin’ indeed! And I’ve been looking for a mug like that for a while – it would do great service with my homemade soup 🙂
You can watch the show Craig Ferguson did for his father’s wake on YouTube. It is very moving, so real. And then he finishes the show by
drummin’ with ’em. Quite powerful.
To hell with stoic acceptance and suppressed denial! Amen and amen.