I should have known better, should have done better. If I had listened to my heart, I would have stayed home and rested on the night I caught a virus. This is one of the final teachings that challenge us as human beings. We know but we hesitate to live our knowing. It feels threatening and unkind to other people.
I was born a knower and a seer. I successfully put myself last in order to be tolerated by people that didn’t even love me. This is the path the world wants us to take. Thank God for people like Leonard Cohen who knew this deeply. Never serve the world. Never try to change it. Just take your piece of the puzzle and mine it for a lifetime.
So I sit here still recuperating from this virus. That one decision to go out cost me a trip to see my sister and my health. I am getting better but have a long way to go. I would like to honor the witness within that watches me doing the wrong thing. Endlessly doing the wrong thing.
I am here to let everything fall away until the ground I stand on falls away as well. Flight is still possible.