Sometimes people say I should not dwell on my past losses. And to that I offer a quote from Robert Brault. “”It is a rare blessing — the love that stands in your shadow and considers it shade.”
I am not sure what Robert means by that, but I will put my own interpretation on it. The shadow of grief caused by losing a child follows you the rest of your life. Why not use it as I have done? It has been therapy for me to write about it in 2 ways. The first is that it offered me a safe place to record my feelings. The second is that it offers others who have suffered losses a place to sigh and let go. “Someone else has been through this and survived.”
As I type, the handyman knocks at my door. He is here to patch a bird hole in the cedar, among other jobs. He has come to show me a picture he just took of the bird poking its head out of the hole! He assures me he will knock loudly to scare it out before he patches the hole. We don’t know what kind of bird it is. It is large and brown.
Life is a mystery. My first book, “Life with a Hole in It” was about losing my husband to cancer. It has helped people deal with loss. My life will never be picture postcard perfect. But I consider it a blessing that sometimes people consider my writings to be shade.
I have moved on, had healings and am often consciously in a state of grace. But there is always the little grave in a cemetery with its stone that reads: “Christ in you the hope of glory.” Amen.