I lay in bed this morning, having had a recurring bad dream. A dream in which I am spurned and made to feel “outside the guild.”
We all feel like this much of the time; in fact, our lives are unconsciously run by this feeling. As if we are not good enough or smart enough or loving enough. So we seek the fake pearl of outer approval and it seldom comes. Even if it does, it is not the real deal. But what is? That is what I wrestled with as the sun struggled to come up.
I think the pearl can only be received with an open hand and that means I must be conscious of needing it. I must be grateful to receive it. At this moment in time I realize the pearl is awakening consciousness.
At other times, it might be perceived as self-love or self-acceptance. But it is always coming from a higher source than the mind.
Vicki Woodyard
The path that I am on is a lonely one and yes I do seek validation from others which does not comfort me either! I think it is important as I was thinking today that I need to appreciate all things and that I have life today and able to get on and do what I enjoy. You are right I do seek attention too as though it is going to make me feel better after all there is no real substance within it. Thank you for sharing!