I am sitting in silence this morning, awaiting an appointment at the eye doctor. A slight nervousness is felt, a normal thing before any medical appointment. The only reason for it is that I am entirely human. Totally at the mercy of my emotions. Unable to create a fearless self. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Why is it that advaita promises something it cannot deliver? Because it appeals to those that seek a quick fix from their humanity. But it is simply impossible. We are here in this planetary kindergarten to learn humility and the power of grace. No one said it would be easy.

We are faulty creatures in temporary bodies. Once we have accepted our fragility, we are free to draw on a higher strength than that of our egos. First we must surrender all ideas of how it should be. Leonard Cohen is the teacher for many of us, as he sings of the compromises we all must make. He is beloved because he speaks the truth. And out of truth a deep love arises. We all yearn for truth so that we may come to love.

I will go to the eye doctor and find, as I always do, that my anxiety profited me nothing. I will come home and let my hair down. Sip coffee and rest in relief. What if I could rest in relief all of the time? That is a pipe dream. What I can do is work hard gathering energy to find the door that is the Christ Consciousness. Once I find it, I remember who I really am. Wordless, powerless and the beloved of God. I can now enter in as helpless as I really am. I await the embrace of the light.

Vicki Woodyard