In the Middle of the Night

No sleep yet; it’s about 3:30 a.m. Thought I would get up and write my sense of where I am these days. As I speak briefly in videos of my teacher, Vernon Howard, I need to make some things clear if they are not already. I do not run a Vernon Howard discussion page for a reason. I am not Vernon Howard! Nor his clone. I am myself and free of any doctrinal identifications at this point.

He spoke in his own way and I in mine. In some cases I differ from him decidedly and yet I carry his energy. It is an energy that wreaks havoc on the mind that wants to question or argue on the intellectual level. There are always people hovering around the edges of my page wanting to bait me. Not gonna happen, as Dana Carvey says in his best George Bush voice. I know what I am about.

I understand more and more that I am the Self, albeit in a female body and an insecure personality. My essence is bigger than I am. It is as big as the sky, to quote my friend Peter. I had lunch with a new friend last week and the realization of this came. I think she has had it as well. Although we met for lunch, we were meeting as the Self. And we had a good time being ourselves as well.

The days of people posing as enlightened beings online are over. Until we understand that we are neither and both will we come to know the truth. I am Vicki that has undergone more than one crucifixion and bears the scars to prove it. I am also the Self that shares love freely and unconditionally. Both forces happen at one and the same time.

So visit my writings and my blog and Facebook Page. But don’t think I am here to represent Vernon Howard or anyone else. My main teacher these days is a shaman who shows me joy in the moment. It doesn’t get any better than that. Honor the Self in all beings. Be grateful that they are embodied or un-embodied. Be grateful that we have these moments together. Soon enough we will be thrown into the fire to return again as light.

Vicki Woodyard


  1. Your words are always a welcome reminder. We all need them. So easy to be caught up in one or the other and forget who we truly are. I am so blessed to have had all the “teachers” I have. But I know who I am, as well, not a clone of anyone. Thanks & blessings!


  2. Dearest Vicki, I treasure your wake up calls, your minds sharp set contours and clear directions. Like a diamonds cut edges your spirit sparkles and shines, broadening perception and leading to depth.

    For singing your sweet and very own Soul Song I send you my gratitude.


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