Finding Balance

My inspiration these days comes from a shaman, Theo Paredes. I only spend an hour with him twice a year, but oh, what changes have happened to me on the physical and emotional levels. In between visits, I do not communicate with him in any tangible way; however, the intangible benefits are huge.

Once the heart is open, outer contact isn’t necessary. I feel that the silence is richer and deeper than ever before. At our last session, he invited me to visit him in Peru; I doubt I will go, but it was a lovely gesture on his part. The physical trials of such a journey would be immense for me; I am simply happier at home.

My life, which used to be filled with sorrow, so much so that it always tipped the emotional scales downward, is now much more peaceful and accepting of what is. The simple things fulfill me. My weekly trip to the grocery, library visits, lunches out, daily walks, Tai Chi, watching TV at night. Nothing out of the ordinary calls to me.

All of the hundreds of books pored over have now yielded up their fruit and I keep paring down to fewer and fewer on my shelves. I still read, but a lot of the books are novels these days.

My relationship with my son is now good and I am not easy to live with, just ask him. He chides me for making impulsive decisions and then regretting them. He is a Libra and likes to weigh things in the balance. I turn to him more and more often for advice and help. The roles are changing. I have such a hard head.

On the other hand, I help him by softening my approach, being a solid presence in his life, taking good care of myself so he doesn’t have to worry about me so much.

Life is good these days for this spiritual warrior. Last night I took a walk and saw a robin in someone’s yard. I stopped stock still and looked him in the eye. He looked back and we both stayed there for a minute or two. I thought of Peter and how robins were a resource for him and how he was one for me. A life in balance when nothing is going right was what he taught me. That inner balance that the outer world cannot destroy.

Vicki Woodyard


  1. I search daily for my balance….on the beam, off the beam, not even on it some days. I am a work in progress. There’s a lot going on with my health—-hope and relief on the horizon for one of my chronic problems, which hopefully will lead to the end of others; and, Don’s cancers which immunotherapy has shrunk one of 3 tumors but he is feeling physically exhausted most days….so uncommon for my high-energy, happy-go-lucky, always busy husband and it’s making him cranky, crabby–so unlike himself. Two more sessions to go and praying that he’ll be in remission. One cancer is in remission, he continues to get treatment every 3 months….side effect is weight gain—again, he’s not happy about the 20# the meds have put on him. Learning to adjust to his new moods, while taking care of Jamie and myself….I continue to forge forward….on the beam, off the beam……it’s out there, I’ll find it. Patience. Love & hugs, Vicki!


    1. The circumstances are different, of course, but I, too, have gone for years in overload. Can hardly give you advice, dear Joyce. Just sending love and light, always.


      1. I’ve gotten through the heavy, choking, dark cloud of grief from losing my son, then my granddaughter to a daily grief in my heart. I’ve adjusted to how different my daughter is after she sustained a traumatic brain injury and with no training whatsoever, have become a nurse, physical/occupational/speech therapist and CNA in order to be her 24/7/365 caregiver. I’ve struggled with health issues but by pushing through, consulting with many, many doctors over the past 4 years….I have been led to one that is going to help with one issue. Thank you, God! This has been a very difficult year beginning with Jamie’s spinal fusion, my thumb reconstruction surgery and Don’s 3 cancer diagnoses. We are a strong family, have handled everything with strength, love and faith. Your journey through grief and darkness keeps me focused that I too will find my inner balance. God Bless you, Vicki.


      2. We are here to share our truth and love, Joyce, and you do that beautifully. Thank you. You are doing it not only for your family but for the whole universe.


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