It’s been a long time coming, but now I know. As Vernon Howard said, “When you know that you don’t know, then you know!” And so I take my place in the long line of nobodies who know nothing. I proudly put on the raiment of the realized, which is nothing more than profound ignorance.

The unwinding of the grave cloths takes as long as it takes. A bolt of lightning never hit me; I came to this ignorance one step at a time. One steaming pile of shit after another to step in. Until the roses began to grow from it.

I was so intent on thorn worship that I was the despair of heaven. Thorns were all I knew. So I became an expert on them and I still am. I could speak all day on the subject of suffering, but the words would be coming forth from the briar patch of ignorance. That place where love is being born in darkness.

Clarity does not belong to the ego. It only comes after the dark night of the ego has ended. And then you can make pretty sure that you don’t know. If you don’t know if you don’t know, here is the acid test. Are you ready? It’s not like those name tests on Facebook. Not at all.

If you don’t know, you will understand what I have just written. If you don’t understand it, then you will think that you know. And between knowing and thinking lies the whole journey from darkness to light.

There is no shame in being in darkness; I have lived there most of my life. The only shame is in not knowing that you don’t know. Nothing God loves more than an ignoramus of the heart. We just have to wait around all day on God until He reveals His plan for us. Ours never work.

Vicki Woodyard