I finally get it, and not a moment too soon or too late. I am already whole and already surrendered. That means there is nothing more important for me to do than be. Being is my natural state, my default position when I am under no pressure to conform or perform.
I have just finished my fourth book in a state of uncanny peace. My essence is perfectly sure that I did the best that I could possibly do and therefore I have no worries about it. So I have opened a new file for new material that will unfold exactly as it is meant to unfold.
I have turned in my card as an aspirant and become who I naturally am. Vernon Howard said we would all reach this point. “No mountain, no teacher, no student.” Just pure being with no labels. No place to go and nothing to do.
Heaven is whole. Heaven is here and now. Heaven is open 24/7, no deposit required.
No commentaries need be written on who I am. No new teacher need try to cram one more fact down my throat. That ship has sailed. I am not in it to win it but to be it.
There is a certain amount of dark humor connected with this, for I have become who I really am. A rather feisty woman with unremitting insecurity on the personal level. But since I am not a person, I can laugh my ass off.
Who gives a darn if I am antisocial or aloof or any other labels you would like to paste on my forehead. No one gives a darn if I am Mother Teresa saving the world either. So I am free to sit here alone pecking out words as if they mattered and they don’t. Only freedom matters and I have been chained too long.
I am deeply happy for no reason. And it’s about damned time.