This Friday has been turtle-like and oozy. I slept poorly but got sleepy and stayed sleepy once I saw it was morning! I have a little roast in the crock pot and it smells great. I have also eaten peanut butter cups and slugged down cups of tea and coffee trying to stay awake.
The man came to cut the grass and then the exterminator showed up to treat some errant roaches. I am still sleepy and have gotten nothing done. TGIF, I can sit around this evening and watch TV.
At this point in my spiritual life, there is little to do but develop some extra patience. I have finished most of my karmas for this lifetime I am told. So free space is happening for me now. Even so, I want for things to happen and they don’t seem to be enough or as exciting as they should be. Human beings are never satisfied for long.
What do I expect to happen? Wow. I think I expect more love but where will it come from except from me? I don’t want another pet and there won’t be another man in my life. So I am just hanging around the planet. And the planet, as many of you will agree, is not exactly in good shape.
It won’t do me any good to piss and moan about it, either. It is what is is. My teacher said to only concern yourself with your own inner development. That is what will change the world, not exterior acts of charity.
I thank God for being shown that there is a way out. But we do have to be down and out before we find it. Sometimes he used the example of a man being in a dark dungeon and finding his way out by dropping to his knees and slowly feeling his way out. Not a bad idea.