Not Much Style

And I went forth to the mall and ended up in Land’s End,
a metaphor for all things comfortable.
And there I didst buy a pair of pants on sale.
Yea, verily, with an elastic waistband and
machine washable.

For I had been to Chico’s, the land of the supposedly fashionable
and came home with more fashion than I knew what to do with.
I have not only dangling prepositions (see above line), but
a certain blob of fat that has never heard of the word “fashion.”
It only knows what it knows; that it must be accommodated
because it is not going anywhere anytime soon.

And yea, the strife between fashion and comfort continueth.
My tummy runneth over and my hip huggers say they have
too much to hug.
And so when you see me, I will be the one in the pants
with the elastic waistband but not much style.

Vicki Woodyard


  1. Vicki doth speaketh the truth and it pleases my heart. God bless the maker of the elastic waistband because it allows me to live, breathe and eat in comfort! You are beautiful….in all you say and do. You make me smile 🙂 Sending you love and hugs. xoxo


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