My son and I live together. I have a master on the main and he has the upstairs. We meet in the kitchen, as a rule. He has become a far better cook than I am. Tonight he asked if I wanted him to make anything for supper and I said, “Well, I was gonna make broccoli soup, but you can do it.” And so he did and it was good.
I threw two soy patties in the skillet and popped some buns in the new toaster oven. We talked a little, about comedy and music. About what is happening in the neighborhood.
We used to have a terrible relationship, what with me being a Scorpio and him a Libra. But things have shifted the older I have become. As I have learned to forgive myself for so many things I did wrong as a parent. He has forgiven me, but nevertheless. Having to parent a dying child and a healthy one at the same time means that the healthy child is largely ignored. Oh, that it could have been otherwise. That is how all parents feel.
I am also reparenting myself. I regard myself as a child that needs looking after. I need to learn to relax and play. I was the oldest in a family of four, so I became Miss Responsible. Bob was the oldest in his family, too. So together we became the ideal couple. Except for my nagging and his passive-aggressiveness. Giggle. Nothing is ever perfect and nothing is ever finished forever. Forgiveness is the key. And that begins within.
I rather like reclaiming my blog as one would reclaim a piece of garden gone to seed. I made an attempt to redo my Donation Page and now it sounds pitiful. I don’t mean for it to. I mean to say that in order to respect myself as a writer, I need to accept donations to pay for the site. And buy me the occasional Starbucks. Ha! I miss my fellow writer, Jeff Belyea. We often talked about how hard we worked for nothing. But I would like to exit this life just like he did. He wrote a gorgeous poem and then simply walked into the arms of the Lord. And I miss him every day. His Facebook Page is still up and many of us stop by to say hi to his essential loving heart, which shall never, ever go away. Hi, Jeff….