Some idiot is trying to pass herself off as Vicki. Oops! It’s Vicki. Somehow she keeps creeping into my essential Self and taking over. Oh, I speak for you, too, huh? If you are honest, you have to agree. Your ego is running interference in the flow of your life. That is its nature and it’s a hopeless one.

This is how my day has gone. Yesterday I had an impulse to make a trip to the basement to store a box of receipts from last year. I saw that there was water on the floor around my hot water heater. I called a new plumber and he changed out a part on the heater and gave me the name of a company that vacuums up water and then sets up fans to dry out the area. So they came out and did their thing.

The noise is ear-splittingly loud. Six fans and 2 humidifiers blasting away. The men left, saying the fans would have to run until Monday. I put Leonard Cohen on the player and took a brief nap. When I woke up, a circuit had already blown and I had no power in my bedroom. The thermostat read 79 degrees. So I called and the two men are here now, trying to diffuse the electric load.

I was trying to stay calm, cool and collected, the whole time seeing my vacation money winging away to pay for this sudden unexpected expense.

The men just left, having redistributed the electric load with their fingers crossed and fingering imaginary prayer beads. I have been told not to even consider using a blow dryer or the vacuum as long as the fans are running in the basement. Now if I could just get it through Vicki’s head that she is not Vicki.

Vicki Woodyard


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