I have written humor for a long time and frankly, I find it a form of truth telling. I was born to write. In third grade I was filling up composition books with poetry. And so it goes. Now I am filling up files with all sorts of writing. Essays and poetry falling from the sky so fast I can hardly get them down.
I spent the first 2 months of summer weeping and the last month of spring, so that was 3 months of being melted down. I have been attending kirtans and that has helped the process along. The joy I feel while there helps me ease on down the road.
Now for the first time in a long time, I feel hopeful again. You see, I don’t do anything but write. I lay claim to no other talents. It is therapy for me and I hope I never quit. When I write, Vicki is barely there because the rich mother lode of grace takes over.
Oh, sometimes I offend people by my honesty and I have also offended them by my expressions of grief. So be it. A watered-down writer is not worth much if you ask me.
I also hear that some of you are waiting for words that open you to your own rawness, help you access the parts of you that need some light. When you step outside your mind, the world becomes new. The leading edge of honesty is like a laser.
As I get older, I see how death is kept behind closed doors in our society. Ram Dass has a stroke and brings it to people’s attention. That helps. Most of the time, stroke victims are not too popular. My new book is about conversations with Peter, broken open by a stroke. This was before Jill Bolte Taylor had hers, but he felt as she did; I know that.
I have been blessed by a few good teachers. Vernon Howard was my primary one, but Peter was rather an indirect one since he was against thinking you needed one. John Ramsey was a teacher and he eschewed the idea of duality as well.
As far as I am concerned, I barely hang on by a thread. Society would sew you down with a machine but it wouldn’t feel very good. The slender threads of guidance are as strong as steel. When they are thrown out, it is good to follow them. They are from the space beyond space and the time beyond time. Often you recognize them by their pure feeling of goodness. I followed them to kirtan. I followed them to hear Leonard Cohen. I can’t wait for the next ones to be cast before me. And I write on.