The Facebook Addiction

My friend M writes:

“I’ve resorted to re-reading your old notes. I’ve diagnosed myself with Vicki withdrawal.”

So I told her I would write a note about it today. It’s been a little over a month now since I began posting my notes on my blog rather than on Facebook. I did it at the advice of a dear friend, who suggested I was addicted to the feedback that you get so generously on Facebook. Well, it’s not always generous, but there is another factor that comes into play.

As I post to my blog, it feels private, even when quite a few of you take time to read it. And for that I thank you. I need a community of readers that resonate with what I am about. And for now, I am learning the difference between essence and persona. On one level, I already knew it. But with this pulling back into privacy, my essence breathes more deeply into what I write.

It is the persona that gets addicted to Facebook, or to any drug that keeps your mind in constant “Go” mode. It wants to ensure you stay enslaved. My teacher, Vernon Howard, was all about becoming free, as any good teacher is. He always told us to watch ourselves reach for the cookies, the popcorn, the need for assurance from other people, etc. I have been doing just that.

And so this morning I was able to settle more deeply into my morning silence. I reflected on how non-doing drops one down into essence. How essence is who I am and always have been.

Then I went to the grocery and the sack of sugar I threw into my cart leaked. I first noticed it in the bread aisle, when I almost slipped down. But as I approached the checkout lane, I saw that the bag had leaked all over the other items in my cart. If there ever was a good example of what I have been writing about, that is it.

I must watch myself leaking energy (and eating too much sugar.) My bittersweet life is what it is. So is yours, as you know, a mixture of energies. Some good, some bad. But who we are essentially is that sweet peaceful witnessing that goes nowhere and does nothing.

I might have to resort to rereading some of my old notes myself. They aren’t half-bad, if I do say so myself. Try it, you might like it.

Until next time,


  1. Good one. I have the facebook addiction too, not just to posting but to scrolling. It’s a very quiet life here, social-wise. I see my addiction to fb as a compensatory behavior to the isolation. But I might be wrong. 🙂


    1. I was rationalizing the heck out of it, but now that I have pulled back, I feel a deep renewal of energy. But first, I went through actual withdrawal,
      crying for a month. For me, it was covering up grief and also wasting my precious essence. Lots of people realize that FB is not all beer and skittles because it is free and easy to use. I was also being bombarded with every energy vampire known to man. We all are and we call it FB Friendship. But the darts are being thrown randomly so we do get hit and not casually. Everything has its light and its dark side. The light side of FB is it introduces us to people on our level. The dark side is it introduces us to people below it.

      I am known for intensity and honesty and I have thrown darts myself. Here it is quiet and shimmering with just the right amount of light. I probably couldn’t take any more….everything in due time. I am learning patience with myself and others. Aren’t we all?


      1. I think for me the downsides are that it is a huge timesuck and that it disguises for me how much i have isolated myself where i live. some days i don’t go on more than once or twice precisely because i DO want to feel the isolation; solitude is sometimes a real balm for me. this is an open question for me; i do see that on days when i am too busy to come on more than once or twice i don’t miss it. when i’m home and there are lulls in the action, that is when i automatically come online to interact with someone or to shout into the wind.


  2. Vicki, I look forward to your posts. You’re a hero to me…. Brave to lay bare your experiences. Thank you. “But who we are essentially is that sweet peaceful witnessing that goes nowhere and does nothing.” This is it, really, no matter what goes down…. On Facebook or otherwise. Love and gratitude, friend.


  3. I’m the same about Facebook. I’m alone. I also despise learning about taxes, beginning health insurance, numbers in general have never been my thing. Facebook allows me to escape from those dreadful things and offers me a community of sorts, or so I thought until the less I’m there the more I live…getting outdoors, trying to meet neighbors and the like. The more I’m away, the more I live (outside my home). Here’s to you, Vicki!


  4. Thank You Vicki!!! Love the leaking sugar metaphor..and the wisdom, love…I am a facebook addict. living in isolation. and It is so true what you said about the persona and the essence. I do wonder though about the landscape of life…what if we dont ever meet, are we real friends still? what if facebook friends is the only window to heart, soul that I can have…is it a surest way towards depression and heartbreak? I have no answer on this. it keeps me worried..and is love still.


  5. I have a ready answer for you, Nachi. I never met my friend Betty or my friend Peter or my friend John Logan. Not in the body, anyway. Yet much passed between us. They were friends and teachers for me, no question about that.

    They were essence friends. I am not much for having lots of acquaintances; I doubt you are, either. So the dilemma and the question becomes, what is real, what is worthwhile, etc. The questions you carry carefully and try not to answer too quickly.


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