Finding My Voice

“Writers have to find that space – their voice. All else is futile.” Anonymous

I have found my voice and will never give it back. That is the deal that life has made with me, or so it would seem. Take a few hard knocks. Start out writing one liners for famous performers, lose a child and a husband to cancer and begin writing about your spiritual path. Boom. I became a serious writer with a touch of funny. Now it seems that I am ready to take it up a notch.

What notch is that, you say? I am wondering that “outloud” online. I love writing on my blog and elsewhere. It lets me use what I have been given. I say the things some people just think, but I say them on paper. In person I am one shy violet. Most comedians and performers are and I am closely akin to that. I have always loved comedy and words. For me, there is nothing that makes me happier than coming up with a humor piece that lets others smile as they are reading it.

Paragraph follows paragraph and I build a body of work. Then I crash my Mac and lose most of it. Right now it is sitting in a drawer; I am not convinced it is worth the money to try and salvage the hard drive. So I am experimenting with starting over. Life is about that, anyway. I would prefer to still be married. I am beginning Year 9 of widowhood and miss my late husband now more than ever. I still feel married.

But back to my voice. I can’t be cajoled into spouting half-baked euphemisms about the path. Others have done that. I seem to enjoy pushing the nondual envelope in as many ways as I can. Right now everyone is stuck on “I am” but the glue of words is drying out. There has to be a new way to say it. Actually what I aim to do is be it. And that doesn’t require words. So I save the words and use them to act silly or spend them working crossword puzzles. I went to Barnes & Noble and got a few books today.

People used to post on Yahoo lists but that has gotten stale. On any spirituality list you will find the same few saying the same tired things and woe be unto you if you disturb their peace.

My book, LIFE WITH A HOLE IN IT, is my pride and joy. It will find its way into hearts here and there and I will smile quietly at the fact that I opened myself up to a wider audience. I have no desire to travel or speak or do anything but sit quietly at home. Who knows, maybe someday someone will turn up at my door and I will say “Come in.” But in this moment that I write you are already in. Want some coffee?



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