I carry the power of my teacher, Vernon Howard. Not always willingly, either! Sometimes I try to get off the hook, but guess what? It is way too late for that. HIs words leapt into my consciousness back in 1984 and have made their home there ever since.
But there has been no happily ever after. No, indeed! As someone said, “All of Vernon’s true students will be broken and thrown back on themselves.” True enough. I watched the bodies being carried out one by one.
Now I sit alone much of the time, endowed with power I would not have chosen had I known what it would involve. Days, weeks, months and years of coming to terms with the higher world.
Even today I am restless, insecure and haunted. For you see, there is no such thing as enlightenment. This is a myth foisted onto us by the same people that brought you Big Foot.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
My friend Peter had it right when he said that there is nobody home. Vernon used to yell at us, “There’s nobody there to be enlightened!”
Anyone who takes money to enlighten you will deaden themselves in the attempt. Don’t play in the street.
Return to your miserable little house and sit there all alone for as long as it takes.
I am still doing that.
At this point the silence hovers over me crammed with angels.
I cannot see them or hear them but I know they are there.
Vernon used to talk about the Veteran Angel and the Apprentice Angel.
I am of the latter assembly.
I do my best to walk the straight and narrow but I usually fall down and go boom!
So many lessons to learn. So many vows to break. So much light still to come in.
Always be a learner.