My friend Betty has her wings; I know that. She had a dream where she saw beautiful butterflies and orchids and we both sensed it was a dream of transition. I miss her a lot. Some time before she went into hospice, she sent me a stained glass angel holding a small blue bird. We both knew what that meant, too. I have it in my bathroom and look at it daily. It took me some time to realize that the angel has no facial features. It is just the shape of a face.
Betty loved music as much as I did. She often sent me YouTube links that her spirit led her to share with me. There were times when they triggered weeping bouts; she knew this but would not pull back from following her intuition. She wanted to be a seer and so she worked hard at honing her intuitive abilities. She also thought I had the same qualities.
Not long after we began emailing, I sent her a link about Leonard Cohen’s early years in Montreal. She wrote, “You’re good!” I asked what she meant and she said that she had lived in Montreal when she was young. “I loved that part where he ordered a cheese sandwich and a glass of milk. He drank all the milk first and then ate his sandwich. Just like my little friend in grade school would do.” (Her family was not from Canada; they moved there from another country.)
She looked forward to John Edward coming to Florida and to her dismay, he seemed to avoid her. She said he looked very tired because he was at the end of a tour. Here again, we both knew on a gut level that what he saw for her was not good. But I felt he could have been more helpful. Initially, after her first chemo, she believed she had a fighting chance. But as the days, weeks and months went on, she slowly began to lose faith in a physical healing. She was dead at 56. Now I am minus another dear email friend. Part of my journey this lifetime seems to be about connecting with people who are called on to have extraordinary courage in the face of death.
There was Laurie and Bob….those two angels now watch over my son and I, illuminating each step we take. None of them are easy but all are necessary. Some people say I should not write about loss so much. Do they not see that there has been great gain as well? Just a question I should ask myself when I am feeling blue and alone. This big blue marble is not only blue because of its oceans….