I woke up this Mother’s Day morning feeling vulnerable. I had dreamt of my brother and his family stopping by my house en route to somewhere else. There was a large crowd of his inlaws, children, etc. and I realized there was only my son and I and I felt envy that he was surrounded by a tribe. It is true; I am much alone. How can it be otherwise?
When I accept this, the in breath comes and I remember myself. I can “taste” the energy of truth entering my body. For the moment I am awake. I know my sadness, know that it is part and parcel of who I am and that it cannot be denied. I also know that it can serve others if I allow it.
It is raining and the trees are soddenly green and I am suddenly seeing. We all come into this world preprogrammed and we live out our destinies one day at a time. Some days are okay; others find us tossed in the fire and roasted. These are fires of purification, not punishment.
Holidays crawl for me. I have an inherent dislike of them. I do not belong in a holiday. I belong in something comfortable doing ordinary things. After holidays I like to buy candy on sale, but I have vowed to give up the sugar habit to some extent. Not totally, but as best I can.
What does this have to do with nonduality? What does nonduality have to do with me? Everything rises and falls together. The tides pull at us and the winds screech into our bony frames. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. And in the meantime, vulnerability reigns.