I have not been spared the experience of losing a child and a mate to fatal cancers. Neither was I spared their love or the love of the Self. I keep my writing as honest as possible; that’s just how I roll. If I tried to sugarcoat my life, I would immediately lose the blessings of my lessons.
Although Bob has been gone over seven years now, I can look out the window and see spring arising and miss him. When we were in high school, he sent me a silly card that said something about missing me in spring. I also remember him going on a bus trip in high school and bringing me back a small box of divinity so hard it could have broken one of my teeth. Oh, the joys of puppy love.
As our love progressed it would be tested by such severity that would make angels wince. Bone marrow tests so grindingly painful that a roomful of nurses flinched and turned away. I became so perpetually exhausted that I walked around like a wraith. If this was eternal love, God was smacking me in the mouth with it.
I am writing a beautiful spirit with ovarian cancer. She is undergoing yet another ordeal by chemo. We tell each other the truth and that is a beautiful thing. Why gloss over our suffering when an honest admission lets in yet more light?
Joel Goldsmith has been teaching me lately via one of his books, Consciousness Unfolding. He boils love down to one essential experience, making one’s contact with God. I can do that; in fact, it is the least that I can do for anyone. If that doesn’t work, nothing else will. I rest in the arms of the Absolute and sometimes others rest with me. I like to think so.
Check out my book, LIFE WITH A HOLE IN IT by clicking on the Book Page on this site.