An Imaginary Essay

Bob Woodyard is looking at his earth life. Now he is out of his body and able to  speak from his purified heart:

“Oh, God, my life on earth was so difficult. The last five years were hell; they were my crucifixion. I see my wife, Vicki, and how hard she worked to keep me in the body. How broken and angry and defeated she was.  What she didn’t see was this huge angel that was with her at all times. She didn’t see how well she would do after I left her. She thought I was unaware of how impossible her task was. She feared every day that she would not want to live after I died. But she is not only living, she is flying above any storms that may touch her now. I love her now more than I did while on earth.

The first few years after my death I watched over her so tenderly, in awe at her ability to keep on keeping on. I watched her clean all of my mess out of the garage, sell my tools and my beloved car. Watched her tote stacks and stacks of my old magazines from the basement. I should have done that myself.

I saw her probate my will, driving to the courthouse with our attorney, silently putting her signature on papers as they pointed out the appropriate place. I saw her come home and collapse in tears. But she went on. She managed to get a new roof put on the house and a new kitchen floor installed. She made her energies predominate in the house because her friend and advisor, John Logan, told her it would be helpful. “Get rid of any medical equipment, too,” John said. So I watched the walker and other items be donated to the Salvation Army. The house was beginning to feel lighter. But not Vicki’s heart. She would still cry almost every day. It is difficult for a spirit to watch this process. I prayed mightily for her. And she, of course, kept writing about all of it.

Her pleasures were simple and she was learning to set nice, clean boundaries around herself. She didn’t know it, but taking care of me so faithfully had shown her how to take care of herself. She couldn’t see it, but I could see her coming back to life after the first year without me.

After the first three years of watching over her, I felt she was strong enough for me to go on my own mission up here. I had to use what I learned from my own years of suffering. So now I just “touch in” when she really needs me. I came to her in a dream more than once, but she seldom remembered. When I came and showed her my diary and said, “Your prayers are written daily on the wall of my heart” she was deeply moved. She lay there in bed afraid to move lest she break the mood of the dream. Yes, she cried, but it was a good, healing cry.

Some of you may think Vicki is making this all up. She is. God has seen to it that her way of writing is her way of healing. I stand behind this piece of fiction as I stand behind everything she does. She is one helluva lady and as she says to me on occasion, “More today than yesterday, less than tomorrow.” As she spends each day on earth trying to shine more light on her darkness, I know the truth. The light is all there is. Our love is one magnificent experience and yes, when she crosses over, I will be the first person she sees. The beloved, the one who was the wind beneath my wings. Now I have a pretty big set and she will have some, too.

Sceptics and cynics are just people whose hearts have not been broken wide enough open yet. I was glad when she added the subtitle to her book. That’s how the light gets in. I wouldn’t want her to think that her life had been in vain. She had her faults and her weaknesses. I always, always loved her in spite of them. She was my earth angel, she was.



  1. hello again vicki – have not ventured back until today – and today I have found tears rolling down my cheeks as I read your writing, it is so very tender and beautiful, now i will have a listen to your interview too. ps, i live in Australia and my Uncle has attended Sailor Bob’s talks, i found your site via his, on the links page.


Comments welcomed....