Early morning words, fresh from the subconsciousness, thrown on the dewy grass of my mind. Words that jar the reader into awakening. Smell the coffee. Smell the roses. Shit is coming down the pike. Never mind the telegenic young teachers who are selling their fresh faces and outlooks to you. Down below the demons are growling at you.

Demons that want you dead. Christ knew all about them. He spoke openly of the devil. The devil is the unconscious, the cellar of our being where they roam. Last night I had nightmares and began to pray for the safety of the light. Went back to sleep and reentered the nightmare. The only saving grace was that I saw an apparition of my grandmother and hugged her, weeping. “I am so glad to see you,” I said twice.

If I write to you only of self-realization nothing changes, not you or me or the world, for everything is within. The opposites never quit; they are always churning out worst-case scenarios for us to fight. Love seems to be the apparition in a world gone mad.

Sometimes I hesitate to post what I write; it is then that people say they like it. Such a funny situation for a writer. I want you to see the strength I got from my teacher. It is downright scary, isn’t it. I had a dream once where he called me on the phone and we put our hands palm to palm and he read me a sacred charge and I agreed to it. Days later I told a friend who is a mystic about it. She said this, “I wanted to throw the phone across the room.” When I asked her why, she said, “I got dizzy and nauseous; I couldn’t take the power coming through the phone as you told me the dream.” And that is what my words are all about, ultimately. There is a lineage that will not be denied. It keeps me private and on point, ever doing my inner work of being still.




  1. Yes a million times over. I get tired of reading all the positivity and ‘growth.’ I get tired of a culture working hard to deny the demons with TV, drugs, consumerism and sheer laziness. The hard work of being human is what interests me. And there is a pile of shit within each of us that we first have to admit we have and then secondly have to face.

    “Down below the demons are growling at you.” – I am a yoga teacher. I see it constantly in both myself and in my students – a running away from the dark streak running through all of us. We have to do the work – the down in the dirt, grimy, skunk ridden work. The choices is that only for me. As Mary Oliver says: “are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?”


  2. Glad you agree. Only someone who studies themselves daily knows how bad off they are, and thus, how bad off the world is. This awareness makes one wish to become different. Although we cannot affect change in ourselves, the very witnessing leads to change.


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