A Place Within

Toni Morrison was on Oprah today, saying that everyone needed to have a space that was totally theirs. She has lost a son and said, so wisely, so wisely, that she never expected closure on such a loss. If he could get sick and die, she could remember that and go on, but not necessarily always feeling happy.

Truth like this needs to be heard and I, for one,  am here to tell it. I have created my own space where I do my writing. It belongs to me alone and I let it change like the weather while remaining the changeless. Oh, Lord, abide with me, as I move in and out of my oh, too human, moods. This week it has been my body; next week it may be my emotions.

Losing a child changes everything for all time. At the end of this incarnation, I will not be remembered for much, but everyone knows I lost something most precious. This deepened my channel to God. I, like Toni Morrison, have claimed the space to be totally myself. It is this I share with you, for we are all alike.

We all need a sacred garden where we work the soil of our soul. After the weeding and the feeding, we may sit back and inhale the fragrance of what has flowered or digest something that we have grown that is organic. One day this mother will go beyond herself into the experience of the All, but she will also remember each part of what used to be.

Wisdom is not about preaching but about being true to oneself. For when you are true to yourself, you are true to everyone. I am a plain person with simple things left to do. I am grateful that I have a roof over my head and food to eat, just as I am grateful for my son. Husband and daughter were here for a time and then moved on, as will I.

But while I am here, I claim my space. I call the shots and do my writing work. If I have any power at all, it is the power of an honest confession. I don’t know what the next step will be. I can’t see beyond the daily drama of my one little life. Somehow we are all alike in that.




One Comment

  1. Vicki, I’ve read this post several times and on each reading I fall deeper into an exquisitely still and silent space. So now I’m pretty much at a loss for words except to say thank you for this and all your posts, which I cherish as much as I do your profoundly wise and heartfelt book. Even the cover is a meditation.


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