“Life is hard to figure out.” I wrote this to a good friend in an email. And she wrote back:
When you’ve got it all figured out, please let me know! (big smile)
If that doesn’t make you smile, I don’t know what will. Here I am, a supposedly mature adult on the path of inner development who doesn’t have it figured out yet. I could claim to be super-enlightened, but that is becoming commonplace. I had rather cop to the plea of “Only don’t know.”
So I am going to go out on a limb here. I don’t know who I am or why I am. I only know that I am. Surely that is enough if you pay close attention to how hard life is. And we are life itself pretending to be otherwise.
I am love pretending I don’t know it or remember it. I stub my toe on the Rock of Ages. I lug my cross grimly up to Calvary. I sit down and shriek, tearing at my clothes and storming heaven. I have forgotten that I am the Christed One. I don’t have it figured out yet. When I will, it will be the Second Coming.
The Second Coming is close at hand and so am I. I run right into the brick wall of thought again and again. I think I can figure it out. “Take no thought for tomorrow” doesn’t work for neurotic little minds who want to win or avoid losing. It doesn’t work during dark nights of the soul. But the sun shines on it all.
In case you are wondering why I call myself a spiritual writer, it is because I know how wrong I can be. That is my main qualification. The others don’t amount to a hill of beans.