The intellect wants to crucify awareness. This is the story of humankind. The evolving intellect is like a parasite taking over a strong and healthy tree. Every time I see wisteria in beautiful lavender flower, I am reminded that it is a parasite. Our minds are feeding off our strong and beautiful essence. Awakening is about seeing that.
I come from parents who were from uneducated. My mother went to college for only a year before her father told her she must go to business school, and so she did. But she was naturally intelligent and had a deep interest in spirituality. She gave me books that I immediately loved. Yogananda, Joel Goldsmith and many others. I took to the path like a duck to H2O.
My father had to leave school in the eighth grade. But he was so bright he ended up starting the first pharmaceutical company in Memphis, Tennessee. I get my writing ability and humor from him.
What happened to me was what happened to every child in the world. My intellect became predominant. My parents wanted to be educated and so they did it themselves, in a sense. I made all A’s and graduated from college. I loved to read and built a fort of thought around myself to keep me safe. Once the fort is built, it must be taken down brick by brick by brick. That is the path in a nutshell.
Inside the bricks resides the Self. I have never fit in to this world. I was born with a knowing that I was somehow in the wrong place. At thirteen I began having panic attacks and agoraphobia. This became social anxiety, and I still have a certain degree of it to this day.
At the same time, I exist in a field of grace. A place where my inner knowing thrives. I seek to drop the bricks of thought and revel in this field. I try to share it with my readers by just letting my fingers say what they will.
I know some of you relate to this, because it is every soul’s story. It is the story of the prodigal son or daughter that one day wakes up in ruin and decides to make the journey back home. We all know what is going on, how we are taken in by our thoughts and made to forget our true heritage. Suddenly I see the real possibility of remembering.